Stupid Shit French People Say or..

September 1, 2011, 8:28 pm

≫ Next: Indie Guide Nightlife: 3 Rad Hip Hop Nights in Toronto

7 Ways the French will Ruin your English

There are very few times in your life where you will sympathize with Madonna, but living amongst the French for prolonged periods of time will lead you down such a sad, dreary path. Remember how diva everyone thought she was for taking on that corny, fake British accent? Well, you'll find out for yourself that she wasn't faking completely. If you are an expat or a student in France you are definitely experiencing your own language transmogrification except you'll learn that in your case it's to a degree worse than the outdated pop Queen herself. (Read more on Erasmus website!)

I mean, all expats go through language warp regardless of country, but this is to the worst extent because a) it's not even English unlike North Americans who go to Oz or UK. While they may come back sounding like cylindrical turds saying 'reckon' or 'bloody hell' at least their grammar and expressions make sense and b) the French are so smug about their language superiority in France, don't let them conquer your English too!

Bref, listed here are 7 weird things all French people say all the time, enough to wear down your wall of reason and overrule years of English class. In order to prevent the spread of the pretentious disease known to many as the Frenglish accent, they have been documented.

7. It changes nothing

Translation: Ca ne change rien

Example: It changes nothing for me, we can speak English if you want.

What they're trying to say: It doesn't matter. It may not be grammatically incorrect but it's still weird. This is precisely what's so tricky about hanging out with French, they change the language ever so slightly that it hoodwinks correct common speech. Saying the dramatic 'it changes nothing' to replace the casual 'it doesn't matter to me' is forcing you to speak like a soap opera superstar and I will not stand for it.

6. To read diagonally

Translation: Lire en diagonale

Example: Of course I read your blog posting, says the Ex, I read it diagonally.

What they mean to say: To skim something over, which is what my hand did to his face.

5. That tells me something

translation: Ca me dit quelque chose

Example:

Me: Hey Justine, do you know that crazy, sexy new site Beautiful Men in Paris?

J: Hmm..oui...That name tells me something..

Me: Oh la la! It's an artistic and creative version of the site Cute Boys Make me Nervous but dedicated only to the sheer beauty the men command in their stunning city. Hellooo septième ciel.

What they're trying to say: That reminds me of. This sneaky strain has pervaded the deepest levels of my speech. Even in the company of Anglophones it tumbles out of my mouth like rotten escargot, and it's only now that I've spent some time outside of La France do I wonder if I even make sense to my peers. News flash: You don't.

4. For when is it?

Translation: C'est pour quand?

Example:

For when does this website start?

Me: As soon as I get back to Paris! Which is hopefully in one month. FYI French administration in August essentially shuts down shop and it's impossible to get anything done. Putain.

What they're trying to say: When is it? Adding 'for' in front of questions is quite stupidly common for French people, like For what are you going to be in Paris? Attention for this useless word messin' up yo flo!

3. To talk alone

Translation: Parler seul

Example: *mumble mumble? What? Sorry Félicia, I was just talking alone.

What they're trying to say: Talking to oneself. First of all, my name isn't French, so stop bastardizing it. Second, are we in a Shakespearean tragedy? Keep talking alone, Frenchies, no wants to hear your crazy ass English.

The muse and inspiration for the alluded to site coming soon. Beautiful Men in Paris. Be the first 100 to follow for privileged status for future giveaways and stuff.

2. The scooter of Jacques Léopard was stolen (abandoning the possessive apostrophe mark)

Translation: Le scoot de Jacques etait volé.

What they're trying to say: Jacques Leopard's scooter was stolen.

You'll find this happening and not even realize how prevalent it has become in your speech- 'the party of Camille will be amazing, the dinner of Caroline ended with us making music! etc etc.' Because in French they use the 'de' for possession, meaning 'of'. It's not wrong per se but another step towards Lingual No Man's Land.

1. Take a drink/ take a glass

Translation: Prendre un verre

Example:

"Oui Laurène, I am a beautiful charming and brilliant French man who will be featured on a website called Beautiful Men in Paris, do you want to maybe take a drink tomorrow night and talk about it while I make sweet love to you?"

What they mean to say: 'Get/have a drink.' This is the most forgivable of all their follies because when a French person wants to have a drink with you, you do it. You are in one of the most visually and linguistically beautiful countries in the world and while it sucks to sound like them or have your dull Canadian name sound like a luxury perfume line, it'll make your sejour in France that much more romantic when you integrate. Your answer in broken English should be "Oui, Pierre ouiiii! I was just asking myself if you would ever ask me to take a glass with you. I do!" Plus, if you don't come out of France sounding like an English Mutant Ninja Turtle then you have not experienced the culture nor the people nearly enough.

En revanche.. The French View

Besides as one of my charming French friends, Dimitri (from the band Western Indians I posted about last week), pointed out when I told him about how rotten my English gets, he said, "Good! It's nice to know that it works both ways. For us French who speak English, we become aliens in our own language too." Apparently they start saying things like "Ca fait du sense" meaning 'that makes sense' but things don't make sense in French, they're logical (C'est logique). There are some more but I forget slash don't care just keeping talking to me because I'm with Josephine Baker on this one who once said, "I like Frenchmen very much, because even when they insult you they do it so nicely". Can anything sound bad in French?

Anyways forget what I said before. Having the best time in France means finding other citizens in the Land between Languages where French try to speak broken English and you try to speak bad French. In doing so you proliferate the greatest language of your young life and make the best of friends while doing it, Vive le Frenglish!

French people being normal at my French Stereotypes party

If you've been contaminated or diagnosed with Frenglish, help add to the list with your own symptoms!

Follow on Facebook and Twitter for internet supremacy for infinity.

Some French Music: Birdy Hunt

More underground indie music discoveries and a small sneak peak at the music I will use when this blog is featured on T.mofuggin' V next month!! This band just rocked out at the Parisian Music Festival Rock en Seine and it's no surprise at their success with the catchy indie pop sound full of fun and happy feelings. Thanks to my lovely and ridiculously bilingual friend Claire for introducing me! I'm reminded of Two Door Cinema Club. Although I'm loving Toronto, I can't wait to get back to Paris and bask in everything cool.

Mediafire: Furies and Lights- Birdy Hunt.mp3

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Indie Guide Nightlife: 3 Rad Hip Hop Nights in Toronto

September 6, 2011, 12:31 am

≫ Next: Indie Guide Nightlife TORONTO: Pop Kult at the Gladstone Hotel

≪ Previous: Stupid Shit French People Say or..

Hip Hop Parties Where you Don't Need Diamond Grillz to Fit in (unless it's ironic?)

What the hell do I know about hip hop? Probably as much as I know about making my booty clap and let's just say if a bow legged, curled spine grandma and I got into a competition I would get pwned, so yea. That doesn't stop me from kind of loving the opportunity to try to swagger and wine to Young Money and Kanye once in a while and I'm finding out in Toronto there are mad fun places to do that.

Seriously, I'm way into dancing like a bird that can't fly to electro and indie rock but damn girl, sometimes I want to feel my legs cramp up from shakin' my healthy butt to hip hop. It sucks though because the clubs in Toronto where you find that scene is typically filled with dumb broads who listen to Kiss 92 and aggressive dudes who like to hang out their window and drool like you're Dr. Heiter's sweet three dog. That's why I've been totally surprised in a joyous way that I've found somewhere to bust it out with a super cool crowd.

1. The Crawford: Bad Table Manners
The first is an event at the Crawford on College called Bad Table Manners. It's run by the same dudes who do those dim sum dance parties, Happy Endings I've been writing about. I stopped by just for fun and found the line way long and the place at capacity (much to the Mansion dudes' surprise). People are insanely into the hop these days, eh? I don't know if it's becoming more digestible or if I've just grown to love the genre more and more, but the demand for a cool scene to dance it is clearly on the rise. Even in Paris, le Regine, one of the trendiest spots in the city has started a hip hop night.

Bad Table Manners happens roughly once a month and is a 5 buck cover. There's two levels of music with the main floor playing fun stuff (to my immense pleasure they busted lots of Watch the Throne, which I know many aren't into. I am. Niggas in Paris waat.) and downstairs with less popular stuff. It's nothing hardcore or super legit but a seriously non-pretentious good time with good people. Check out the website for dates.

There are a billion more photos from this dirty night, here!

2. Parts and Labour: Bitch Craft the all girl DJs
Holy god, I just went to this event on Saturday night and it was a throbbing sweaty mass of dance party. Parts and Labour's club area called The Shop will definitely become one of my Queen West Favs but this event went beyond my expectations. The crowd is good looking, not sleazy and the girls come looking to DANCE, which unfortunately I feel is getting lost in the major scene clubs where people go to be seen rather than whip their hair back and forth. The all girl dj crew may not be the most experienced with some rough song transitions but they do know how to feel the crowd out and have an intuition for what people want of the "loud rap music" category. I don't know if it's a girl skill or not but they have a good sense of vibe that many young dj's lack. Don't come expecting Tyler the Creator or anything top quality, but just fun tunes. I swear I was drenched in sweat after this night and I had not danced like that since a first year Trinity Pub Night (U of T). Maybe that's why someone decided to pull the fire alarm that ended the party early? Yea. Lame them. Oh well we ended up taking pitchers of beer home and continuing our own baller dance party. This event happens once in a while at the Shop and is a 5 buck cover after 11 pm. Before then it's free. There are more nights there, like with White Girls and I look forward to checkin' them out too so I can report back!

3. 751 on Thursday Nights
This is next on my list to check out after reading it on this blog, True Vagabond. Their rap night happens weekly so that's cool and it is known for cheap drinks and a laid back local atmosphere. Stoked.

This is just the beginning. If you know more chill hip hop parties in Toronto, please share so we can go dancing! Blap* Blap* ghetto we are.

Yo Wakka Flakkas! Follow on Facebook and Twitter for exclusive tips and parties around the city and the WORLD.

Music: Tyler the Creator

Okay okay, I know this is mega old but this video/artist is worth sharing forever. I heard it a couple months ago and was mesmerized by its darkness. I love his style and his lyrics (even if they're kind of rough). Not your typical hip hop and you probably won't hear much from Odd Future at the spots I recommended, but whatever. I am in love.

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Indie Guide Nightlife TORONTO: Pop Kult at the Gladstone Hotel

September 13, 2011, 10:57 pm

≫ Next: Concert Review: SebastiAn at the Hoxton TORONTO

≪ Previous: Indie Guide Nightlife: 3 Rad Hip Hop Nights in Toronto

Newest Toronto Event at the Gladstone is One of the Best Yet

Photo credit: Felicia Moursalien

Take the mad chill and good looking folks from those dim sum dance parties my blog has been deep fried in recently and boil in sexy location and you have probably one of the raddest new parties around. That location is the Gladstone Hotel. The night that made me a believer is called Pop Kult, a new event thrown by Earmilk.com and The Mansion.

I hadn't realized the heart shaped hole in my soul until I showed up at the Gladstone. Location seriously makes all the difference. Whereas Happy Endings, thrown in a crazy restaurant in China Town gives it a super underground vibe, rockin' out at the newly renovated scene spot, the Gladstone, with its subtle but classy decor and well lit brown tones made me feel like I could be partying in Paris. I also realized I'm a huge believer in good lighting. It holds everyone accountable for not looking like/making out with dirt turds (even Konrad put on a striped sweater!)

Girls travel together in the bathroom so they can take pics together, duh.

Of course the music was a mega huge factor as well. They had djs from RAC playing most of the night and they busted out a very "dancey" (merci Thomas) set, remixing electro hits from Cut Copy to adding their own flare to pop tunes. It doesn't hurt that the djs were ridiculously gorgeous, fitting them in perfectly with the electro disco ambiance kinda thang.

I know I have a tendency to jump on the golden eagle of excitement and fly away to the moon, but honestly cats, throwing an event at the Gladstone + good music + the cool following these guys have brings you to the kind of soiree full of sexy funkiness without pretension that gets my heart beating. I'd like to say I'm looking forward to the next one, but I probably won't be in Toronto anymore, so please party hard for me!

NEW INFO: I just found out TIGER LOVE IS GOING TO BE AT THE NEXT ONE IN OCTOBER. Do you know how long I've been waiting to see these guys?? I'm turning into a super hero called Mega Jealz !!! Pussy Cocaine is not Under Control. Gio gio! I'd postpone my flight to Paris for this.

Photo credit: Felicia Moursalien

RAC doing their thing

ps. I took some of the pics for the event! I used my toy camera so excuse the non-pro star stuff of it, but hey you get to see the point of view of a person partying with the crowd rather than standing outside of it, non? Plus it was my first time photographing for someone who wasn't me. Here are some of them. The rest can be found on Facebook.

Photo credit: Felicia Moursalien

Immigrants at a party, always a good sign.

Try following this blog on Facebook and Twitter for ultra high levels of cool bombs. Pow!

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Concert Review: SebastiAn at the Hoxton TORONTO

September 15, 2011, 2:04 pm

≫ Next: Indie Guide Nightlife: French House Electro in Toronto

≪ Previous: Indie Guide Nightlife TORONTO: Pop Kult at the Gladstone Hotel

From Inside the Pit: All Hail SebastiAn

Sure, kissing your own face for an album cover may border on narcissism but reenacting the Third Reich while substituting speech with turntables and a Mac definitely puts you in the Shaquille O'Neil of the self loving. But while SebastiAn manages to exude both forms, namely the latter last Thursday at the Hoxton in Toronto, this Ed Banger DJ takes you through one hell of a concert ride.

To start with, his set was a party bag of awesome and bang. To some disappointment he only teased with the beginning of Embody, preferring to play more climactic tunes off his latest album, Total, like Tetra and Total's bonus track, Organia. But hey, it got the crowd dancing in a sweaty pulsing mass of human. It even turned into crowd surfing that I may have partaken in (in a dress) and may have worn panties so granny they make Beatrice Arthur look like Lady Gaga and which was gloriously displayed to the world. Whateva.

But if ol' Seb noticed he didn't act it probably because he was too busy looking like the head of a totalitarian state, fist pumping without the pump, his angular face straighter than a Christian jock at Pride Parade. I'm gonna take a leap of faith and assume this politicized theme is connected to the album's name, Total. With the juxtaposition of the projected images saying 'Votez" behind him and his face over the tricouleur of the French Flag and on the other hand, militaristic videos one has to wonder if this is more than just narcissism but a politically charged message to youth like 'Yo, use your voting privileges you fools, or else your democracy will be headed by scary looking people like me.' Or maybe I'm just being an International relations loser. Whateva x2, it strummed my brain strings which has a direct line to my heart.

Regardless of the message, it was still Orwellian creepy with the mindless indulgence of the pulsating crowd and with one man relishing in his control of it all. Yet it was exactly this attention to theatrics in combination to a great set that distinguished the electro show from any I've ever been to before. Even Justice on their Toronto tour years ago at Circa didn't compare, with cool light displays but not much more. On the neg side, at the Hoxton it did seem to be a pre-determined track list without much live action goodness, but hey I'm no expert. Anyways, it was still cool to have the massive venue concert experience without being forced to see the Black Eyed Peas or somethin'.

Partying on a (or no) budget
Being the broke as bumble bee I am (until I start real adult job in Paris), I was wicked lucky to go. I had seen SebastiAn at the epic opening of the Social Club in Paris back in 2008 when studying at SciencesPo and I was dying to see him again especially in my home city. Thus came Operation Billet Gratos. Plan A consisted of writing directly to the man himself on Facebook with a Five Point Plea for reasons why he should hook me up with guest list. I put in a solid hour of forgotten French and carefully thought out arguments like 'I bet I can make you laugh' and 'we bring dance to dance party' but his response was colder than a Siberian labour camp. Zilch. My pride was wounded but I wasn't going to let my deflated ego and povo situation hold me back, hell naw! And so I turned to friend and former Trin school mate also one of the guys behind Salacious Sound, Dave King. After some convincing of my situation he finally hooked a sistah up. Legend.

French electro is some of my fav' shows to see outside of Paris, and the dancing and sweating at the front and centre of this one while the madness of TIFF had added electricity to the whole city that night made all my groveling for Billet Gratos, totally worth it.

If it's anything like this show in Toronto, I'd definitely see you again in Paris, Seba!

While on the subject of Ed Banger DJ's my sincere condolences go out to the family and friends of DJ Mehdi who passed away a couple days ago. I would have loved to see him live at the Grand Palais in Paris in October and I liked his work a lot while apart of Carte Blanche. You would've rocked man. RIP.

If you want to be cooler than Dr. Grant in Jurassic Park, Follow on Facebook and Twitter !! Plus see the rest of the photos here!

Completely unrelated but kind of: Go F*ck Yourself
If SebastiAn could, he would.

↧

Indie Guide Nightlife: French House Electro in Toronto

September 19, 2011, 2:57 pm

≫ Next: My Special Cover Letter for 3 Monkeys

≪ Previous: Concert Review: SebastiAn at the Hoxton TORONTO

Where to Find French House and Electro in Toronto + Wicked French Playlist

Okay fine, I'll admit it. I have an affinity for all things French, goddamn. I can't help it though. I spent the best year of my life on exchange at the ScPo, and now I'm waiting on my visa so I can start my baller' media and communications job in gay ol' Paris. I'm just jonesin' for the culture while here in Toronto. And while that makes me a bit of a floater loser it has given me superhero powers! Seriously. I can gravitate to anything in the city related to Frenchness.

Sort of.

The DJs Nicolas and Steven (Photo cred: Franco Deleo)

Recently I was pulled to a cool, cozy bar in Ossington where you can listen to the classics of French Electro and house like Daft Punk and other Ed Banger super stars the third Wednesday of every month. The bar is Unlovable and the event is called Soirée LXXXVI with a great crowd of those 20 somethings who dress cool without trying too hard. Rock n' Roll.

It's normally headed by Toronto DJs Steven Manning and Nicolas Pilaprat but the upcoming event on the 21st will have guest DJ slash magic fingers Josh Chong bustin' the tunes alongside Steven. Go for a pint or two, flirt a little with the cuties and maybe shake ton derriere if the mood strikes you as hard as Napolean struck Europe. Seriously kids, it's probably the coolest thing you can do with this one Wednesday night of the month.

A plus tard!

Unlovable

1415-B Dundas St West,

Toronto, ON M6J1Y8

Wanna know what it's like to party in Paris? Listen to this mini list

This is "not a party" with les meufs in Paris

French Musique Playlist

I wish I was a DJ so I could play these songs..or maybe I'll just request them through my blog! Excited to see you guys!

1. Hit Pop- Numero.mp3
Just want to start dancing and French kissing to this Kitsune produced artist. An oldie but goodie.

2. Gio Gio-Tiger Love.mp3
I'm obsessed. They're a London electro synthy trio featuring a French lady. Amazing. Plus they're coming to Gladstone in October!!

3. Drugs in my Body- Thieves Like Us.mp3
A classic in Paris. More chill.

4. Homecoming (Gentlemen Drivers Remix)- The Teenagers.mp3
Gentlemen Drivers are some sick djs in Paris who do a wicked remix of this Teenagers song.

5. Sur la Planche- La Femme.mp3
Funky pop electro song with a surfer feel

6. Je veux te voir- Yelle.mp3
This is probably not the most well known Yelle song amongst anglophones but it is certainly a must know amongst your French friends.

Have you ever ate French cheese while having a ménage à trois? Me neither, but it's probably not more satisfyingly French than following this blog on Facebook and Twitter . Oui monsieur!

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My Special Cover Letter for 3 Monkeys

October 4, 2011, 12:19 am

≫ Next: Pop Kult at the Gladstone Hotel: Review of LCD Soundsystem's Nancy Whang

≪ Previous: Indie Guide Nightlife: French House Electro in Toronto

3 Reasons Why I Would Be the Next Great Monkey

Dear Mr. ***,

First, I’d like to take a second to thank you for responding to me on Twitter. Congratulations on the new job at 3 Monkeys, as I tweeted I am also intensely motivated to find work within such a fun and dynamic company. Because we’re all busy media people, I took it upon myself to make this cover letter more interesting so I made a blog posting! Not to mention it will be more efficient with all the references right at your finger tips. Anyways, below I wanted to swing you through three reasons why I’m worth hiring at 3 Monkeys or at least thinking about a little bit more.

1) I have an unexploited skill in the Jungle

People like what I create. I recognize the importance of creating fun and engaging content for today’s A.D.D media consumer and through my blog, Lil’Fel Rocks the World, I am adept with deploying this asset with high energy and creativity. As proof of my success, readers of my blog spend quite a bit of time on it. I have higher than average times according to Google Analytics, with up to 4-5 minutes per posting. Although many of my readers are not in direct demand of my product (the country/city guides) they have nonetheless become invested in the brand I've established and as a result consume the content regardless of the subject; an asset that may be best maximized in the PR world. Further highlighting the impact of my content development, I was contacted by MTV regarding the possibility of a television show and more recently I was interviewed on Canadian Television for a program called, Start Something Big on Rogers. However, it is important to note that I'm not a one branch chimp. My strong writing capacities, idea creation and strategic mind are transferable to other products and I am absolutely motivated to use all my capacities for the 3 Monkeys’ digital team if given the chance.

2) The Social Media Banana is one I have much experience peeling

Of course, none of that content would have been recognized if it weren’t for my social media strategies. On Facebook I’ve achieved over 1200 Likes- an impressive number for a single community manager of the site, most of which I’ve accomplished through multi-media engagement. I produce engaging status updates, not only promoting personal content but topics that the readership relates to. Furthermore, I liaise with local events management and PR agencies to produce photographic and video media content and thus helping draw their audience to my blog on Facebook. Lastly, I give people reasons to why they should follow on Facebook and Twitter rather than just asking them to do so. When framed in the right way, it has been quite telling to see how effective this approach has been. My practical experience in community management will allow me to make immediate and effective contributions to clients' social media needs for your agency.

I even like climbing trees! Already a 3 Monkey Brand Ambassador

3) I am not a monkey on a typewriter

It is not by chance I have come this far. Any experience I lack, I make up for in hard work, high energy and most importantly competence as seen through my academic and non-academic experience. I have worked grueling jobs from the age of 16 to save up for university, succeeding entry at the prestigious Trinity College at University of Toronto and most importantly to send myself to one of the elite institutions in France, SciencesPo Paris as well as obtaining an internship with the UN in Indonesia. Even before university I co-founded and was the editor-in-chief or my highschool paper, which helped gain me admission into the best journalism school in Canada. I am not satisfied with mediocrity and strive to be a leader in anything I undertake. I have worked in the public sphere and now I’m ready for an innovative and creative company that both matches me creatively and fosters ambition. With its independent standing, intimate staff and large year by year growth, I truly believe 3 Monkeys embodies those qualities.

All this is to say that I am dynamic, creative and motivated with the right skills. I know I can make a great fit with your company if you give me the opportunity to become the newest monkey to the team!

Different Jungles: Practicalities

True, I am currently based in Toronto, Canada but I am as flexible as a Chinese gymnast when it comes to mobility, plus that archaic connection known as the Commonwealth makes it fairly easy for a young Canadian professional to gain employment in the UK. I hope it will not be a factor in your considerations. Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is anything else I may provide you with. Thank you for "hanging around" and reading my application, I hope we may discuss this further in an interview.

Sincerely,

Felicia M
(Contact information removed)

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Pop Kult at the Gladstone Hotel: Review of LCD Soundsystem's Nancy Whang

October 12, 2011, 7:07 am

≫ Next: Things to do at Hallowe'en: Zombie Walks

≪ Previous: My Special Cover Letter for 3 Monkeys

The Politics of Partying: When the Main Act Sucks

Nancy Whang of LCD Soundsystem vs. Scottish DJ Hal Kilmer

I know we can barely remember if we put our Mustard Yellow or Nantucket Red socks on today, but let's walk our ADD brains back to the weekend for a sec. Can I be perfectly honest with you guys? Okay, I'm going to be perfectly honest. People may have paid to see Nancy Whang of LCD Soundsystem for Pop Kult #002, but it was the opening Scottish man beast, Ross aka Hal Kilmer who actually gave folks C-4 levels of awesome at the Gladstone last Friday night.

I mean sure it was just Whang's DJ set, but just cuz you're kinda famous and pretty cool doesn't mean you can stop trying to make people shake their bon bons, right? "Day Time Disco" describes the style of her way slow set (yes, it's actually a thing, pretty groovy stuff too), and is all the rage in New York atm but unfortunately what she played fell as flat as what your stomach didn't look like post multiple Thanksgiving dinners. In the end, what was left of Hal Kilmer's high voltage crowd resembled obese men trying to do the robot in a bowl of Jell-O as the vibe was drastically slowed..down... for... Ms.Whang. Whoah. The effort of slow motion must have been too much as the crowd waned and ducked out early to the afterparty (turkey dinner cooked by the Mansion boys probably had something to do with it as well though).

So What's the Deal?

Arguably, the 24 year old Hal Kilmer perhaps should have played a slower set in order to not upstage the main act. There were murmurs that it was a bit heavy for what the night was supposed to be, but I'd have to disagree. It was pretty much thanks to Ross that Pop Kult #002 remained the event I've come to absolutely adore in the city, helping pull a great crowd and throwing down surprisingly good tracks to rock out to all while still incorporating the disco theme. What's more, he worked jiggity darn hard to do so too. I recently (at the last Pop Kult actually) befriended the straightfaced Scot' and saw a microcosm of the hours he put into gathering songs that would get that crowd pumped up. My new fav' is posted below. Here's a mini interview from Toronto Blogger Lauren O'nizzle. See? Look how keen he is.

Booking and organization had a part to play too. Nancy Whang just has a different sound and wasn't prepared to play the crowd that anxiously awaited her. Originally, The Mansion had managed to score Tiger Love slash the king of my heart right now (singers of Pussy Cocaine, duh), but the British trio apparently has some shart stained management that weren't able to get their visas sorted in time for their Toronto date. Secondly, one might say that given Hal Kilmer's high energy style, his place in the line up probably wasn't ideal to support Whang, making transition a bit rough. There are openers and there are closers, Ross is a closer.

But hell, you know what? To quote Kanye, that sh*t's whack (or is it cracked?). Whang is a veteran musician who has been touring for a while. If she saw the direction of the crowd and did nothing to adjust to the flow of the night as any good performer/musician would, that's her fault. Maybe inflated egos/paycheques asphyxiate room for flexibility and flow. I mean, apparently she livened up a bit later but I don't know. Also, what did Toronto do to piss her off? She had no energy nor stage presence while up there and I felt confident I'd see a unicorn before I'd see a smile on her face. I guess enthusiasm is hard to fake. And was that a dirty look I got while dancing before she came on? *Sigh. On the flippy, Hal Kilmer used more than his doe eyes to get the crowd going. He was up on stage jammin' out and feeding the crowd his enthusiasm like it was fresh haggis. Seriously, this kid handed the warmed up, rosy cheeked scene over to Whang on a golden platter and she dropped it.

Anyways, enough pointless analyzing (which I love to do), for partyers it's all about how good we feel in a night. Ultimately, when it comes to DJ sets specifically, people don't really care about the big names if they don't use their musical ear talents to help them towards the best night of their life. Moi, I loved Friday night. What I said before still stands and is magnified. Pop Kult is one of my fav' events in the city at the moment and I'm uber looking forward to the next one on November 4th with Gigamesh. Huge thanks to Mansion and Earmilk.com for adding high levels of radness to Toronto!

Remember team T Dizzle, this is just my humble opinion. What the jazz do I know about events? I just love going to good ones. Think differently? Baller. C'mon now, don't be shy. Share!

CTS Vintage + Bloggers Pic!

My Gay Boyfriend not loving the Whang this time.

Russel Brand sighting! Just Kidding! That's just an immigrant Aussie trying to..dance?

Brother Ross = Bross

For more pictures and coolness way surpassing sleeve tats, UK accents and even lazer guns, follow this blog on Facebook and Twitter! Pew pew pew!!

Music that Rocked my Night

Never heard this before Hal Kilmer busted it out!

Download: Generate the Heat- Foamo.mp3

Download: Cooler Coleur- Crookers (Feat. Yelle).mp3

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Dance Party in a Chinese Restaurant? Yes Please, Toronto

Pop Kult 001: Wicked New Event to Hit the City

Restaurant Guide: Cool and Cheap Eats in the City

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Things to do at Hallowe'en: Zombie Walks

October 25, 2011, 7:42 am

≫ Next: Indie Guide Jakarta: Vintage and Local Shopping Guide

≪ Previous: Pop Kult at the Gladstone Hotel: Review of LCD Soundsystem's Nancy Whang

When the Dead Come out to Play..Tennis?

Okay, not to sound like a necrophiliac, but I've always had an abnormal obsession with the living dead. I suppose it follows the logical order of my interests. Not sure if you could tell but I'm a pretty big sci-fi nerd cookie, loving the idea of apocalyptic inducing diseases, post apoco societies, disorder, anarchy, politics, human nature studies etc so of course zombie anything has always drawn the me in! Though I must say that I prefer the 28 Days Later zombie story over any other, probably the same reason I love Planet of the Apes, and Oryx and Crake : we crazy humans be the agents of our own destruction in our perennial quest for technological advancement. Hell, the first night I even met my (ex) amour before we started dating, we bonded over zombie role play, pretending the foggy, scary night outside of the camp grounds we just snuck out of in the French country side were the set of a zombie film. Ooh! The key to my heart!

ANYWAYZ. You can imagine how bloody excited I was when I realized I was in a city that had a Zombie Walk. Toronto. Paris has one too but somehow I find it hard to imagine French kids dropping their cool capes enough to really pull off the ugly grunginess of the zombz. In this article people complain about the French getting too drunk all the time and hanging out at the bars haha. If you can comment on the nature of the Paris version, please do!

Despite my excitement, I was in a bit of a dilemma. The rain had let up after a week straight and I was just dying to play tennis too. Only the most obvious solution struck me and that was to play zombie tennis in Trinity Bellwoods Park! Duh rahhreehhhee* !

*zombie translation

Here are a couple pics from the march.

While Tennis a la mort vivant was fun , it was hard to take myself seriously. Especially with all the groans of the dead echoing around the park, it was damn and delightfully distracting, sorry Cindy! Toronto you are too cool sometimes.

Eat the ball boy? Attack the weak and small

Somehow the little tyke was unperturbed by my menacing swagger

Now THIS could give you the shivers. Hundreds of zombies marching past us, see the fresh blood of tennis players and suddenly rush the fence, climbing it and groaning for our flesh. It was actually frightening, I felt like I was in the Walking Dead (show not comic) and reality and fiction lines were way too blurry!!

Best zombie that day at Bellwoods. Not necessarily how she dressed but the way she dragged her leg behind her, the distant look in her eye, the slow bend of her neck as she walked around. She was freakin into it and for that she has my love forever.

Zombie Bloggers, Lauren O'Nizzle and Casie Stewart. Check out their pictures from the day that included more than tennis!

Political zombie farmers even showed up! It should have read "Zombies feed (on) cities". Anyways, that concludes that deadly awesome day. I had to go into work (I'm serving to save money atm) a couple hours later and although I begged them to let me serve customers all dead like, my managers didn't want me eating our customers for dinner. Seriously dudes, if you're lucky enough to be in a city where the living become dead the Saturday before Hallowe'en, don't procrastinate. Throw on some fake blood and your limpy swagger and march!

Resource:

List of Cities with Zombie Walks

Ps. I'm going to be on TV tonight (Tuesday 8:30 on Rogers Channel- canadian only) because I was interviewed. SOO EXCITED. SO COOL. Please watch and tell all your compadres!

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Indie Guide Jakarta: Vintage and Local Shopping Guide

October 26, 2011, 7:39 am

≫ Next: How to Survive Canadian Winter: Ice Skating and Ugly Sweater Parties

≪ Previous: Things to do at Hallowe'en: Zombie Walks

The Anti-Shopping Mall Guide to Jakarta
Where to Find Rad Vintage and New Threads on the Cheap

Intro: Like, why are there so many malls? (Read more on Erasmus!)

You're in Jakarta now, but let me give you some perspective of the world outside. Today, Toronto's autumn air was crisp and invigorating, the sun glinted off the yellow tree leaves like a cocky grin and my friend Jeb and I decided we were going to eat our hungover burrito outside. I had no idea where we could find a park in the area we were downtown, but he wasn't worried."I'm pretty sure if we walk far enough in any direction we'll hit a park," he said breezily. 500 metres later in rando direction we were sprawled in the green grass, sour cream dribbling down my chin. Like duh was soaked deep in his #firstworldproblem voice, but little did he realize the urban planning cluster buck nightmare that is Jakarta that I had come from before.

Upon arrival in Jakarta, September last year I had a haunted visit akin to ol' Ebeneezer Scrooge. I saw the ghost of anti-consumerist highschool Fel's past scream in agony and attempt a roundhouse kick to my sensibilities. Everywhere I looked, everywhere I walked and everywhere I ate, I was surrounded by MALLS. As prominent as zits are to your adolescent pizza face are shopping centres to Jakarta’s expat living, but unlike Scrooge this was no nightmare.Where was the local goods? The cool markets?

(purse: vintage Pasar Senen 80K IDR (8 euros). High Waisted skirt: Semmangi 60k IDR (6 euros), shirt: top shop NY, socks: American Apparel )

Before you know your way around, you will feel trapped in massive luxury shopping centre universe. I know it sounds like something out of a futuristic sci-fi film, but it's true! Everything from cool cafes, your gym and even the clubs are found tucked away between shops of Chanel and Versace. Some of the only walking you'll get to do on real live legs things will be through the fake air of Grand Indonesia while enjoying the fake scenery of sakura trees, not to mention loathing your povo intern life as you lust after than Lanvin dress you see every day coming from the office. If you dare walk "outside" proper, proceed with caution, (unless you live in Kemang, Taman Rasuna or Mentang), due to ubiquitous sidewalk sewer holes that will drop you to your sludgey mortal end or to dinner with the Ninja Turtles?

Open door invitation to Ninja Turtle party aka sludgey death party in hell

Beyond my bitching, it's actually a problem. There's only 9.7 percent green space in the city with developers having snatched up most spaces for luxury malls and apartment buildings(source: Jakarta Globe). You would think there would be more regulation regarding the urban development but low priority for green space over the years, lax laws and corruption has made fighting for the side of the greater good the underdog. A new urban planning bi-law for 2010-2030 has hopes of increasing green space to 30 % but as you live in Jakarta a bit longer and learn about how the city works, you're optimism will fade as quick as your cholesterol rises. Goreng depression please?

Hope for cool shopping, but not outside chilling
With so little public and pleasant space in the city, it's safe to say most of your leisure is spent in the out-of-your-league presence of ol' Louis V and Marc Jacobs. Are you starting to wallow in despair? After two weeks there and having Robin Sparkle’s “Let’s Go to the Mall” on repeat on my brain radio and a cool clothing void, I did too. Had I fallen into a worm hole and emerged in an Asian anomaly without rad local clothing markets, indie and affordable shops as I had seen in Bangkok, Hong Kong or even Kuala Lumpur? I just wanted to avoid the damn malls and do some normal baller student/intern shopping and roll in some green grass! While the latter was impossible (sorry), the former held hope.

Turns out I was only I was only lost in cloud ignorance and was pulled out by local and expat friends in Jakarta who took shopping very seriously. I knew I could trust them. They opened my eyes to the light. Once I went to some of the markets my friends Maeve and Sycillia told me about, optimism burst out of me like a strained damn in spring, with my pent up Rupiah gushing forward in equally copious amounts.

Anyways, newcomers, let me save you the consumerist chagrin I felt upon arrival, also the buttloads of money you may dispense at Top Shop from belief that you have no local cool options! As with the indie nightlife scene, Jakarta will continue to surprise you when you know where look! Hopefully this indie guide to Jakarta Shopping will help ease your transition!

Contents:

1. Intro on how rotten Jakarta shopping can be

2. Vintage Spots

3. New Stuff and DVDS

4. Electronics and Odds and Ends
5. Music: New Indie Pop Song

2. Vintage Spots

Pasar Senen: Vintage.Paradise. Imagine a whole mall full of second hand goodness. Two floors, packed back to front with stalls. It's hot, sweaty and hella cheap. More than just clothing though, you can get home appliances, kitchen stuff, electronics, anything everything at a local price and prices range from 4000-200,000 IDR. The best time to go is Saturday because it's when they get the new shipments. But careful, you need to bargain like crazy because if you're a westerner they'll obviously try to get you to pay more than 5000 RP for that shirt you love (truth. you can get clothes for that cheap). Also, perfect place for costume party shopping and where locals go for everything! Details here.
Trans-Jakarta: Senen, Taxi: Ask for Senen or Atrium

jeans shirt: 10,000 IDR (1 euro)

High waist shorts: from Kuala Lumpur Vintage shopping.

Real leather handbag: 80 000 IDR (8 euros). Had to bargain hard and almost didn't take it because it was the most expensive thing I would have ever bought there. Best bag I've ever owned though.

Jatayu: Mini vintage market. There's some potential but it's so small and out of the way that I'm not sure it's worth it. Having made the trip there though, I couldn't resist buying that high waist blue skirt! Maybe you'll be more successful.

Jl. Jatayu 1
Kebayoran Baru
Jakarta Selatan 12130

Uniqlo Jeans shirt (my brother btw!!): 50k IDR pasar Senen

3. New Stuff

Pasar Baru: Not as cheap as Hong Kong or Bangkok shopping but still one of the cool places to shop for hip and most importantly, new clothing. Sort of like the Pacific Mall of Toronto. What's cool is that it's outdoors, like a plaza so it gives you a chance to breath air, yay! Got a sweet blazer there for 100 000 IDR (10 euros) after bargaining of course. Unfortunately, given my internship stipend, my shopping for new clothing was severely limited and that's why I stuck mostly to vintage as seen below.

Semmangi: This is a mall but not luxury baloney. More new clothing and a wide variety. The basement and first floor is where the best and cheap stuff. There you can find reasonable priced blouses, blazers, shorts for work but also funky pieces too. Everything in the first picture is from Semmangi.

Flower hat to kind of match my flower shorts? Yessss. (Didn't actually buy it)

In a Muslim dominated country, you get the extremely conservative versions of all the clothing, including ankle length jean and plaid shirts.

Manga Dua: Here you can get a variety of Asian made clothes for good prices. My Spanish colleague got many things for work, blazers and such but also party clothes. But even better, Manga Dua is known for it's huge DVD selection and where friends would go to buy independent or non-blockbuster films that you can't find elsewhere.

Top Shop at Senayan: I know I know I said avoiding the designers and cheap but I just had to point out one piece of advice for those days you want to splurge on greatness. The best Top Shop in the city is NOT at Grand Indonesia but at Plaza Senayan. It's way bigger, more sales, more sizes and selection. Okay back to the indie guide stuff. (Take TransJakarta to Ratu Plaza. It's behind it).

Shirt and Flower shorts: TOO MUCH BUT WORTH IT
Brogues: Shopping in Malaysia

4. Electronics and Odds and Ends

Tanah Abang: Apparently run by Nigerian druglords, this is where you go to get textiles, electronics and whatever else for the cheapest prices around. Tanah Abang is an area of Jakarta, not one shopping centre. Admittedly it's pretty damn ghetto, but if you are looking for the best deals this is where to go. There's also an Arab market there where you can get cheap coals for your shisha pipe, vaseline, olive oil etc. The huge green building is the largest textile market in Jakarta. (Central Jakarta: If you tell your Ojek or taxi Tanah Abang, they'll know where it is).

Ambassador Mall: Electronics haven. Cell phone shops everywhere, cheap (cheaper than Ratu Plaza, the nice sort of Electronics mall). Also you can get cheesy as hell clothes, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Blok M: Haven't been yet but apparently also good electronics spot.

Have any recommendations that I missed?
What do you do to escape the malls in Jakarta?
If you can't escape, what's your favourite shopping area there?

5. Music:

The Sigit: Midnight Mosque Song: Finding good local talent in a new country is exciting. And this is the best song I've heard out of Indonesia (not that I'm an expert). It has a jazzy funky beat similar to Timber Timbre, streaked with melacholic noir and beautiful lyrics that you can only fully love once you've lived in Indonesia. It reminds me of Bandung for some reason.

Download: Midnight Mosque Song- The SIGIT.mp3

And special from Canada..Come on Anna, come on Janhavi, you won't be sorry!

New to Jakarta? Check out..

Indie Guide to Jakarta Eating: Mbah Jingrak or the Spiciest Warung Ever

Finding Indie Rock Parties : Black Out

Avoiding the Prostitutes : Review of Immigrant Club

Best Vintage Shopping of your Life? Pasar Senen

The Show Must Go On : Cool Indo Art

Practical: Avoiding Taxies that will Rip you Off

↧

How to Survive Canadian Winter: Ice Skating and Ugly Sweater Parties

December 18, 2011, 9:23 pm

≫ Next: The Vegan Survival Guide to Toronto

≪ Previous: Indie Guide Jakarta: Vintage and Local Shopping Guide

This time last year I was having a bbq on a rooftop, swimming with friends and ending it all off in a jacuzzi overlooking Jakarta, Indonesia. Not gonna lie, it was pretty damn hard to miss Canada and its winter at that point while chillin' in a bikini. Thinking about the wretched cold, numb toes and wet socks from walking in the snow, please I don't think anyone could yearn for that.

But now, I'm back in Toronto and to be perfectly honest to you cats all hot in the heat, there is so much charm that comes with living here that I had forgotten. But this past weekend has brought it all back.

Blades of Glory with Trend Hunter
That's what's been partly responsible for my holiday joy recently. Skating! Have you ever done it? I hadn't in 10 years. But thanks to Fun Day at Trend Hunter Mag at Nathan Phillips' Square, the whole crew went. Um, reasons why to love working for a young, hip start-up. Anyways, lacing up the skates brought back all sorts of Daddy Issues the Canadian Edition- memories of having your dad be the only one could tie your skates up super tight, pickin' your little munchkin body up off the ice every 2 minutes, (unsuccessfully) trying to run away because I was a determined little runt to do it on my own.

This time, what looked like an angel floating down from the heavens was actually me skating. Ha, nah I wish. Picture a new born donkey trying to run for the first time. Mad struggles. But that didn't stop us from trying to recreate Disney on Ice with the Programmers! Also the great thing about working at such a hip place is that everyone looks so good all the time. Obvi had to take pictures.

My programmer twin, Daniel flying on ice.

Little Armi in the middle skating for the second time in her life

Winter Olympics better watch out.

Liv' may have the most beautiful hair I've ever seen, ever.

My intern partner, Teekay, skating like a badass because he plays hockey. Some stereotypes are real.

Ugly Sweater Party or the Best Dressed Event of 2011?

This night was simple and awesome. You know how it goes, too much rum and egg nog + wine never ends well (today was a day of pain). But so worth it. Mostly because of these Man Highlights of the evening, but also thanks to a great host!

Calling all Crazy Cat Ladies! Hit me up for his number. Also. Note the Xmas bulbs collar! Plenty of Fish profile pic for surreeee.

I know something big when I see it. What may appear to be two douchbags who crashed an ugly sweater party is actually the new lifestyle choice known as BEIGE. Couple wisdom nuggets for this path:

- If it's beige it's not gay
- beige is the new black
- The Beigans do the left hand shake

Beige Wall. I had to modify this picture like mad to be able to see the Beige Man Group hidden against the backdrop.

And while I miss Christmas in Jakarta or Paris, this year in my home town is going to be amazing. I can feel it. Great weekend, can't wait for more to come! Whoah. Next thought: NEW YEARS? Where are you spending yours? And what's the best place in the world that you've had?

Anyhoo Happy Holidays everyone!

↧

The Vegan Survival Guide to Toronto

December 27, 2011, 1:12 pm

≫ Next: Indie Guide to Thailand: Koh Chang Lonely Beach

≪ Previous: How to Survive Canadian Winter: Ice Skating and Ugly Sweater Parties

Vegan Restaurant Guide from the Perspective of an Angry Meat Eater

Strawberries and Champagne Breakfast in Spain or As Vegan as I Get

Introduction
Disclaimer: I'm a sassy vegan hater who has somehow published a vegan quide to Toronto. This makes no sense. p.s. I probably hate you.

Okay, when you're limited by shitty diets like being vegan or vegetarian, it is important to have an oasis of eating in every hood in order to avoid starvation. Therefore, I've enlisted the help of the venerable Vegan John, who is also a disco dj, to point you rabbits in the direction of the best of your vegan restaurant world in Toronto. For you travellers, this guide is particularly useful because although your spontaneity may be limited by having such a strict diet, at least you can look up the raddest of the faceless food options in an efficient manner! When Vegan John was in Paris he had a rough time with surviving (he obvi didn't know about my Paris Food Guide and the veg places I listed), so I figured this may come in handy, especially when on a budget or as a poor ass student/intern/media kid. I've somehow had the experience of trying out the vegan way of life because of Johnny boi, but despite the chances of it sucking, he actually made it not vomit worthy. Heed his wisdom!

But before we begin, meet John.

He's been a vegan for four years and has been living in Toronto most of his mundane veg life. This guy has tried it all, from rotten bland veggie mush to the tastiest of stews, and what's listed below are what brings him the most culinary pleasure possible even without having a bloody steak in his mouth. *signal drool..

For those student budget types, one of the big strategies I've picked up from Vegan John and Friends is getting your food from non-speciality spots. It can be more delicious, and it's ONE BILLION TIMES cheaper. I know, I know, finding those hot vegan dishes in the frickin' plethora of delicious fleshtaurants in the city is tricky, but hey guys! I've listed those key dishes too, so you don't have to waste your time and dollah billz on mediocrity. Moreover, while cheap + vegan may be a rare combination, unlike unicorns, it does exist! Stand on the shoulders of your plant loving brothers, my friends! Thanks to Vegan John and Friends, I've listed the most affordable/delicious of veg hotspots too. Enjoi and share the love!

He said that.

How to read this guide: I haven't listed every area or spot of the city that exists ever. The guides are roughly categorized by neighbourhood. I realize when you're travelling you don't always know the names of hoods, so I've listed all the major intersections around them too. The Annex and Kensington are probably the most important because many youth hostels are located around there. Secondly, the order of restaurants are categorized from extreme awesome to least.

Contents:

1. Annex (U of T, Bloor, Spadina, Bathurst, Dupont Areas)

2. Kensington Market (China Town, Spadina and College/Dundas/Queen)

3. Queen West (OCAD area, Much Music and west past Bathurst/Ossington/Dufferin)

4. Queen East

5. Yorkville (North of Bloor between Bay and Avenue)

6. Bloor West (past Bathurst to Dufferin area)

7. Danforth (East in Greek Town)

8. Useful Links and Resources

1. Annex

One Love: Vegan Jamaican food. The corn soup is legendary because a) you get a chunk of corn in it and b) it's spiced just right. Cheap as well. 3 bucks for a small soup and 5 is large. Stir fry is 10 bucks (spices are different from Asian stylez, made with plantains and other exotic stuff). Rotis are good as well, but stir fry and soup are the best. Home made ginger beer too. Airey mon!

854 Bathurst Street 416.535.5683

Butler's Pantry (Markham Street): Great ambiance and always serve a solid vegan soup (tried it myself, yum approval) and are full of other good vegetarian and vegan options. Service is on point. This is more of a cute sit-down spot for a date or break-up or whatever..

591 Markham Street (416) 535-9868

Vegan John's Recommendation: Mixed Vegetable Bhaji. It's really good vegan slash white people version of an Indian dish, but totally worth it. Massive portion too for 8.99.

Burrito Banditos: Get a small bean and cheese burrito (drop the cheese obvi if you're a lacto-hater) for a bit over 6 bucks. Ghetto tip: If you ask for a small they'll usually mess up and give you a large! Make sure they charge you for a small though.

362 Bloor Street West (corner of Walmer) (416) 944-9061

Pizzaolos: Normal fast food pizza joint with bomb ass vegetarian pizza, recommended by a Vegan Friend Lara /schoolmate of mine!

454 Bloor Street West (416) 532-7222

Pita Q: You can get falafels here for 4 bucks. They aren't that special, but worth the price. Being so close to the University of Toronto (my hood!), it's def a clutch for you poor veg types. Also, a great late night choice for you party owls. Open till 4 am on weekends.

750 Spadina Avenue (416) 515-7820

Fresh:True, this place is overpriced and has a shitty atmosphere but it's a good way to bring normal people into the veg lifestyle because it's salty and fatty, win! When visiting the city, this is a cool Toronto spot with a neat ol' story. The lady who started it, Ruth Tal, dropped out of uni and started a mobile juice bar with some student loans. Big balls / courage in hand, she's made it into a pretty decent establishment. Now there are three locations across the city. Budget tip: From 2:30-5:30 Mon-Fri you can get a juice and dessert for $6.50 !

326 Bloor Street West (416) 599-4442

Hot Yam @U of T : Best deal in the city hands down. For 4 bucks every Thursday during the school year (12 - 2 P.M.) you get a main course, soup, and dessert. Tip: If you bring your own Tupperware you can skip the line like a baus. Located at the International Student Centre (33 St. George). Also a great place to meet young souls with giant cafeteria tables and in the summer you can picnic outside. Update: they're in the midst of bringing a permanent vegan/sustainable cafe to campus, so check the site for what's up!

Live Organic Food Bar: This is the first vegan restaurant to open in Toronto but amongst Vegan John and Friends there are mixed reviews. It's apparently delicious and non-vegan friends tend to love it as well so that's huge. On the other hand, it's "a bit pricey and the menu is hit or miss," says V John. Can't comment myself though on its relative shittiness, so if you know better, let us know!

264 Dupont Street (416) 515-2002

Grocery Stores:

Herbs and Nutrition: This is one of the cheapest health food stores in Toronto. If you're in a hostel and looking for cheap snacks and diy whatevers, this is a great find. Right across from Honest Eds at Bloor and Bathurst.

572 Bloor St. W 647.348.8064

Panacea:This is the only all vegan grocery store in the city. It carries some cray cray products like vegan cheese, ice creams, and other junkie delights that you can't find anywhere else. It's a bit overpriced but hey that's the price of such a shitty diet, I guess.

588 Bloor St W (647) 350-3269

Still obsessed with Toronto Artist Brian Donnelly's nudie manimal art.

2. Kensington

Warning: Most places close around 7pm.

Salsas: As a vegan, go with the potato burrito. Just ask for 'No Lactose,' they know what you be talking about, even if no one else gives a shiz. I can personally attest for this place being my fav' burrito spot (with meat obvi) in the city.

249 Augusta Avenue (416) 977-8226

Urban Herbivore: This is a great sandwich spot and loved by Friends. Can't go wrong. A bit pricey at 9 bucks but the portions are big so you can divide it as two meals. Soups are alright, but to quote Vegan John, "I wouldn't go out of my way to get one."

64 Oxford Street (416) 927-1231

Vegan John's Recommendations:
Banana bread with choco chips. "Best vegan one I've had in the city."

Muffins are cray in the morning- freshly baked. Get before 11.

All desserts are bomb.

Tofu sandwich add avocado.

Hibiscus: Delicious soup and salad for 10 bucks. All day and everyday. I, Felicia, have just eaten there last week. Leaves you feeling hella healthy, like you've wrapped yourself in Jillian Michaels power hugs while bathed in baby carrots. The people are amazing and super nice. The ice cream was actually voted best gelato in the city, even though they have no milk in it. Whoah sauce!

238 Augusta Avenue (416) 364-6183

Fel's Recommendation: Almond Butter Fudge thing. Holy god, I will go back forever. It was crunchy and fudgey at the same time.

Moonbeam:Awesome vegan drinks, hot and cold. Everything is dynamite and at reasonable prices. Get the smoothies or some vegan latte bullshit. Tofu samosas are a solid snackeroo for 1.50. Banana breads not that great cuz they be too dry.

30 St Andrew St (416) 595-0327

Vegetarian Haven : Come here for "the best tofu drumsticks" according to Vegan Friend Erika, and pretty good soup too! Reasonably priced.

17 Baldwin St (416) 621-3636

Grocery Store:

Essence of Life: This is the rival of Herbs and Nutrition for cheapest slash best health food store in the city.

50 Kensington Avenue (416) 506-0345

Where NOT to Go:

Wanda's Pie in the Sky: This place is overpriced and limited in their vegan delights. You're better off going to Urban Herbivore.

287 Augusta Avenue (416) 236-7585

Hot Beans:Overpriced at like 12 bucks (insane for Mexican), food is meh and the dudes are the stereotypical 'too cool for school' veg dickhead types that make the rest of us want to vomit tofu. It entices people because it is an all vegan Mexican joint but really just go to Salsas instead- half the price and twice as authentic.

160 Baldwin St (647) 352-7581

3. Queen West / OCAD hood

Fressen: Looking for a hot Vegan Date night? Come here! It's dark, candlelit, beautiful tables, seats and decor. The food can be disappointing but if you ask the servers' their opinions, they are wise. I've tried it out and I was pleasantly surprised! I boldly went with the Tofu Kebabs made in some great bbq kind of sauce with vegetables. As a personal rule, tofu things can suck a big one, but this was tasty as hell and healthy I guess. I would probably go back. It is a bit pricey (16 bucks a plate) and 27 for a cheap half litre of wine, but all in all it was worth the sexy atmosphere of my ethical superiority.

478 Queen Street West (416) 504-5127

Vegan John's Recommendation: Go for breakfast or brunch!

Karine's: Get all day cheap vegan/vegetarian breakfast for 5 bucks here, which includes two eggs, salad, garlic fries, fresh fruit, unlimited coffee or tea, whoah! Also, the owner, Maggie, is supposed to be nice enough to light up any rotten OCAD school day, calling customers 'Baaaaby' and 'Sweetheart' and the like. Also serves smoothies, soups, sandwiches and other brekky goods. Some (ahem* Vegan John) consider the food rather bland, the service a bit fake and where one may go if they're just a baby vegan, but hell if Maggie serves an overflowing plate at a student price, Karine's sounds like a mighty fine establishment to me, minus the vegetarian part. Thanks designer Vegan Friend, Katie! Check out her bomb blog cuz she's cool like that.

109 McCaul Street (416) 591-0863

Fresh: On Crawford is the best Fresh location. People are way nicer, there is more room and a nice patio in the summer.

894 Queen Street West (416) 599-4442

MB Yummy Ethiopian: There's a veggie platter that can be split between two people for 10 bucks. The service is great, everything is Vegan. This spot is the only Ethiopian vegan resto in the city. You can add cheese but you have to request it. You'll leave feeling full but not like a flesh turd.

1263 Queen Street West (416) 516-2798

Gandhi Cuisine: Get massive rotis for 10 dollars. Can feed you for two meals or good for sharing. Hot take-out spot but get ready for stomach blitzkrieg as with all authentic Indian.

Vegan John's Recommendation: Chana Masala Roti or something like that.

554 Queen Street West (416) 504-8155

Czehoski : Best Veggie Burger tasted in Vegan John's lacklustre life. It has a home-made taste, made with quinoa and cuts out the crappy frozen patty taste. The bun is also super delish. Fresh handcut fries but comes with cheese. Ask for their home-made ketchup too. Beware: this place fills up with douchebags late at night.

678 Queen Street West (416) 366-6787

This guy looks vegan. Also, can he be my husband? I'm not normally into tats or 2D men but jeez.. (Credit: Jen Mann. Cool ass Toronto artist who graduated from OCAD)

4. Queen East

Real Jerk : You can get 6.50 gargantuan rotis with chick peas and lentils, plus they all come with a potato base so they're super hearty. You can also get vegetable rotis. The fried plantains are 2.50, which serves as a perfect desert or starter. Great ambiance. The wickedest thing is on Thursday nights they have Irie-oke (like Karoeke with a Jamaican accent, get it?) with a bomb ass DJ Carl Lyte. He plays the most unreal disco rap. A wicked place to sing Jamaican / shitty R&B tunes! For Jamaican food, this is the bomb.

709 Queen Street East (416) 463-6055

Queen Pita: According to Vegan John, this is the best falafel in the city. It's a perfect hole in the wall joint with deliciousness oozing out of it. The sauce makes it especially amazing. The guy who works there, Ali, is da coolest. He's like a buddy and will remember your order if you come on the reg.

1276 Queen Street East (416) 778-9643

Vegan John's Recommendation: Lentil Rice and Baklava

Lady Marmalade: This place gets non-vegan friends upset because it makes breakfast an expensive meal. If John ever brings me here I'll cut him.
898 Queen Street East (647) 351-7645

Sadie's: This is the only place Vegan John goes for a Vegan breakfast when in the mood for hungover, greasy breakky. Well not really, but still stellar.
504 Adelaide Street West (416) 777-2343

Vegan John's Recommendation
Vegan Pancakes with Choco Chips or Blueberries. 10 bucks aboutish.
Breakfast Burritos, switch out hashbrowns for their unreal fries if you don't mind gettin' greasy. 9 bucks.

5.Yorkville

Camros Organic Eatery: Gem!! You can get a full meal of 4 dishes for 12 dollars. Everything is tasty and healthy, similar to Hibiscus, leaving you satisfied but not rotting in your own fat feelings. It's a super hidden gem with Persian inspired cuisine and a good reprieve from the popular and touristy Yonge Street. A nice retreat to a more homey feeling. The menu changes everyday, but at least you can sample anything if you're not sure. Tip: Mix both the dressings for your salad.

25 Hayden Street (416) 960-0723

Rawalicious:For raw foodist, barf. Perhaps not a poor student place on its own but veg parents seem to love it! More info to come (thanks Friend Jennah).

20 Cumberland St (416) 646-0705

6. College

Utopia: A great joint to bring carnivores to because it has great burgers with tons of meat options. For vegans they have gourmet burritos. You can also get vegan gyros and quessidillas. Even though it's fake meat, the gyros are great. The service is quick and friendly, despite being full all the time. Good place to go with friends, but hold up on the romantic date. It also has a neat lil' heated patio in da back for your winter blues.

Vegan John's Recommendations: Sweet potato burrito.

586 College Street (416) 534-7751

Sheba : This is not all vegetarian, they have lots of meat. But the veg options are good and reasonably priced.

418 College Street (416) 963-5527

Urban Herbivore: Same as in Kensington. See above.

967 College Street (416) 645-0349

College Street Falafels:Fresh bread all the time, veg samosas are unreal! but the falafel is a bit pricey itself for 6 bucks. It's not the most amazing but if you're in a pinch, "I'd go there."..Thanks Vegan John for your ever riveting insight.

450 Ossington Ave.

7. Bloor West

Piston: Not the most Vegan place in the world but once a week Vegan John transforms into Disco DJ John and eats here before his big musical night of dancing. The soups are always vegan, the home fries are to die for and well, that's about it. Go here to dance your meat-free soul away to funk, disco and soul! Shibby!

937 Bloor St W (416) 532-3989

Starving Artist: This is a waffle house but they can make any waffle vegan for 2 bucks more. They're all pretty bomb though with sandwich waffels and breakfast ones. They use bananas instead of eggs for the waffles. It's a bit on the pricey side but again, what do you expect when you cut out delicious faced, resource depleting foods.

584 Lansdowne Avenue (647) 342-5058

The Beet Organic Cafe : Good veggie burgers. Ambiance is pretty cool because it's in an old bank. Seating on a cozy upper level. It's a low key spot for a date if you're in that hood. It's also cheaper than one would expect given that the owner lady is a serious chef and takes her cuisine to the next level. Moreover, they make you feel way welcome. They treat people right because it's not a tourist spot, they rely on regulars. The hood is cool so it's totally worth it to head out to Bloor West Village anyway.

2945 Dundas St W (416) 916-2368

Hogtown Vegan: Southern comfort food that pretty much beats the point of those Skinny Bitch vegan types but even vegans deserve a break from being uptight and boring and this seems to be the junky ethical retreat. It'sfatty, greasy and thus delicious. Some (ie. John) say it's overpriced, but other friends love it.

834 Bloor St West

8. Danforth

TeaTree Cafe : If you're not feeling the usual Greek veg choice of potatoes and hummus, come here. It's just outside Greek Town. The atmosphere is blah, but when you're on the Danforth, Vegan stuff is limited, so this is a find. Average price is around 8 bucks and you'll be full. They have desserts but not all are vegan.

Vegan John's Recommendation: Lentils Shepard's Pie, Hummus and cucumber sandwiches on home-made rye.
867 Danforth Avenue (416) 901-9089

Veg Grocery Store

Big Carrot: This is one of the biggest health food stores in Toronto. It's expensive as hell but worth checkin' out because it's HUGE, when health stores are normally quite small. You can eat there too for 6 bucks getting a soup and salad.

348 Danforth Avenue (416) 466-2129

Where NOT to Go

Magic Oven : Been seriously recommended against this place due to its crappo service,
food and stupid prices. Holy trinity of food fail. But hey, I've never gone myself. Let me know if
you disagree.

798 Danforth Ave (416) 462-0333

9. Useful Links and Resources

Happy Cow : Unbiased rating systems of veg restaurants in Toronto

Toronto Vegetarian Association : Pretty good resto listings but some postings are sponsored.

Lil'Fel Indie Guide to Toronto Restaurants: Cheap and Cools Eats : General awesome spots to eat on the cheap for students and the like, with best sushi, thai etc.

Conclusion

As with these indie guides, this vegan restaurant guide isn't meant to be an unbiased, balanced, hold hands and skip along in the park resource. If you want that check out the billions of other generic travel sites. This has been my perspective and in this case aided by trusted Vegan John and amplified by the power of word of mouth recommendations from other trusted vegan/vegetarian former school mates and friends who live in this city. And while I love meat, obviously take what I say with a grain o' salt. If you didn't, then that leftover faux-turkey is way too far up your butt to like this blog anyway.

Am I really such a Vegeturd?

And while on the subject, I'll give you my straight up thoughts on the matter. I'm into part-time vegetarianism, inspired last year by the TED Talk by Graham Hill, the creator of the site Tree Hugger. Wow. Cat's out of the bag that I'm not a moron! I'm not gonna go on about environmental ethical implications from eating meat because you probably know how resource heavy it is to produce meat products rather than plant ones, and if not, watch this frickin' interesting Ted Talk for a succinct overview. But essentially, scratch McStubborn Retardo as prevailing personality traits in this ol' bird. I defo don't lack consideration of consequences of my actions and meat love, thus I've tentatively started to venture down some sort of vegetarianism, cutting my overall consumption of animal products.

With the ex amour in Paris, we took the miniest step of all towards cutting down our meat consumption by having Meat-Free Mardi (Meat-Free Tuesday). As avid carnivores we weren't ready to take the full plunge, and as Graham Hill aptly points out, do you really need to (if for eco footprint reasons)? So many meat-eaters are daunted by never having a steak or burger again and rather deterred by the limitations of the current binary options of either being a meat-eater or vegetarian that they that they don't even consider limiting their diet. This is stupid but understandable if you've never thought you had a plausible third alternative.

This year I'm going even further, and thanks to Vegan John I've discovered that even being a full on vegan isn't as impossible/barf worthy as it sounds. I've made my authentic as hell French crepes with vanilla soy milk and fake eggs, and guess what? I swear to you that somehow it turned out better! I dunno if it was a fluke or what, but whateva mate, it's cool to know that veganism can be legit. Lastly, cutting down on meat stuff is giving me a great excuse to mix vegetables more into my beer/wine/instant noodle diet. ugh. New Years Resolutions 2012 obvi needs some tweaking. But hey, I'm excited, especially with this hella awesome guide to try out!

If you Give a Shiz, Give your opinion

Okay, enough blah-ing. This list is biased as all eff. If you disagree or have anything to add, please share and I'll incorporate it into the guide. These guides are written for you/by you! Will be working on the Vegan Survival Guide for other cities too. If you have some tips, sling them over to the Facebook page. Thanks and peace and love on earth. One Love.

For travel tips even more mind blowing than organic, fair-trade, shade-grown coffee beans, or vegan strip clubs in Portland follow the blog on Facebook and Twitter! Woo dawgz!

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Indie Guide to Thailand: Koh Chang Lonely Beach

January 23, 2012, 7:57 am

≫ Next: Indie Guide Toronto: Lomography Adventures

≪ Previous: The Vegan Survival Guide to Toronto

The Best Island in Thailand for Partying, Waterfalls, and Bad Ass Beaches on a Budget

This is my top pick for Thai islands, hands down. On Koh Chang, meaning Elephant Island, you'll find insane partying, adventure with waterfalls and jungles, beautiful pristine beaches, and laid back hippie chillin times. While Koh Phangan and Koh Phi Phi are amazing as well, this island has a more laid back and hidden gem ambiance. It is less overrun with tourists thus making it one of the cheapest islands you can do in Thailand, but yet it is insanely dynamic and fun. If you're travelling as a couple, Koh Chang is perfect for hottie romance as well. I spent one month living here teaching migrant Cambodian children English before my internship in Bangkok as well as spent over a week on the ile with my old amour. It was so amazing we did it twice thus why I want to share every gold nugget of advice that made the experience unforgettable slash mad affordable with you.

Where to Go: Lonely Beach
The island is divided into several areas. If you are a young backpacker looking to party your ace off with others like you, play beach volleyball everyday and more, head straight to Lonely Beach. The taxi ride won't be more than 100 Baht (don't let them trick you!) and it will take you through winding roads and beautiful jungle hills in order to get to this hidden paradise along the beach. White Sands Beach is the most expensive area and usually where all the tourists without a clue end up (or the rich old folks). If you are looking to escape the backpacker scene and have a more mature/expensive trip, I'd recommend Kai Bai. Everything else in between the two polar opposites (both culturally and geographically) is decent I guess, but honestly don't be silly. For the most fun party chillin times and best prices, head to Lonely Beach.

Contents:
1. Lodging
2. Eating
3. Partying
4. Intoxication
5. Practical Stuff (Internet, Laundry)
6. Other things to do

1. Lodging

Ice Beach Huts: This is the cheapest in Lonely Beach for 50 Baht/night, which is the equivalent to less than 2 USD/night and where I managed to spend one month in while volunteering. It provides the basics for any backpacker who is going to spend most of their time partying and not dwelling in the huts - literally just a place to rest your head. And honestly, who needs more than that? There is a fan, a kind of hard bed, mosquito net and a light bulb. The shower is outside and quite an adventure to use. I really have great memories of this place because it was sort of the epitome of what you imagine when you think of living in a hut in Thailand. There are always fun students staying in the area. I wouldn't recommend it if you're looking for a romantic getaway or are a bit of a princess, but if adventure is in your blood and money is not in your pockets this is the best place to go. It can be scary because the walls aren't sealed, just wooden sticks put together to make a hut, and maybe giant lizards go and come as they please, but who cares? T.I.T ! (This is Thailand).

Where: Go to the infamous Treehouse bar/restaurant and on the other side of some barb wire and in the forest a bit there is the cheapest hut you'll ever stay at in Thailand. Please tell me if it's still there or not.

Siam Huts: If you want some more of the creature comforts of life but while remaining cheap, I recommend Siam Huts. They are huts along the beautiful water and they have A/C and hot water showers. The price is around 100 baht/night (4 dollars). I stayed there when the amour came to visit and we wanted something cheap and romantic. They have a restaurant there which is absolutely beautiful and overlooking the water but...the food isn't as great as it can be. I recommend elsewhere for eating as seen below.

There are many huts around for different prices, but these two offered everything I could have wanted and for a good price.

2. Eating

Treehouse: This is the most obvious place for people on the island, so as a newcomer you have to know that Treehouse has some of the best food you can imagine. Being right next to Ice Beach huts I ate breakfast there every morning while over the clear blue ocean and writing my lesson plans. The Pad Thai is to die for and for breakfast the Grilled tuna melt is incomparable around the world. The chill ambiance, with reggae and hammocks every where will easily entice you to spend whole hung over afternoons just hanging around awaiting the next party. Parties here are on certain nights of the week they are a lot of damn fun. Be careful jumping around on the wooden planks, people's foots have been known to break through them. Also, they sell happy shakes (marijuana grinded into a fruit drink) there. Historically, this is the place that defined Lonely Beach as the chillest spot on the island. I HEARD IT SHUT DOWN. IMPOSSIBLE.

Rainbow Huts: Get the best BBQ Seafood here. As the sun sets they bust out the grills where they cook the most delicious feast of fresh seafood you could imagine. The whole beach does it, but I found that the flavour here was the most ultimate.

Lil'Fel's recommendation: I always get the white snapper, grilled with some salad and white rice. You can get fresh bbqed jumbo prawn as well. It isn't that cheap, relatively, around 300 baht, but hell it is worth it at least once while there. Also, in any restaurant you go to, you must order Thai Ice tea and coconut shakes. They are dirt cheap and so yummy.

Best and cheapest pad thai: in Lonely beach is at the restaurant next to Reggae Bar. The man is so nice and will always chat up a storm with you. The great thing about Lonely beach is that the locals all really become your friend and are super chill and lovin' life. Also, you can poach free wifi from Reggae Bar too. Where I'd spend my evenings talking to my amour and eating the best deal for pad thai in the hood.

Reggae Bar: If you want food open all night, this is the place to be. It great to chill at during the day but the food is nothing special. This is where the best parties are though.

How to Eat for Free: This is possible every night in Lonely Beach. Every major bar host a BBQ on alternating nights of the week. In truth it is nothing special, some bbq chicken and salad but since it's free, it draws large crowds. It's also where the party is that night. Obviously the respectful and expected thing is to buy drinks at the bar, which has been jacked up in price because of the free food.

Ghetto Tip: What most poor souls do looking for a free meal is they buy one drink at the bar and then buy drinks from the super market for much cheaper.

3. Partying

The bars have coordinated themselves that one of them throw a massive party per week. You can find something every night, but the best are at Reggae Bar, Treehouse and Siam Huts because:

Treehouse: Overlooking the water, great dj's and best ambiance. RIP

Siam Huts: similar thang as Treehouse. Being along the beach is so essential to having the best nights on the island.

Reggae Bar: It's inland but they know how to throw down a good time. Live music is usually playing and some of my best memories were made there. If you are musically inclined you can even go up and play music with your friends and have the whole bar sing along with you!

For Some Naughty Fun..
One of the best things you can do is to sneak into the snobby hotel swimming pools with your friends and bathe in the middle of the night. It's beautiful and peaceful.. until the guards find you and start chasing you out naked with bamboo sticks and whipping your little derrieres! Be prepared to James Bond it out of there as the Thai guard searches for you in the water with his flashlight, in the corners of the pool, under the fountains, oh my! If you don't sneak out unseen you pay the price in red whipped skin.

Important Cultural Tip: While it may seem somewhat acceptable to be belligerent in fancy hotel pools, one thing you never do is mess with the local Thai property. Knew some people who thought it would be cool to sneak on a fishing boat to watch the sun rise (sounds reasonable and awesome) but one of them had to pee and did so off the side of the boat. THIS IS A NO-NO. This was believed to bring bad luck to fishing and as its such a major part of their livelihood, the man was staggeringly upset. Point being, don't be idiots. Respect the Thai people while you have your good time, duh.

4. Intoxication

Listen, what you choose to do is your own business. I'm not condoning or condemning your vices, but be smart about it. Here's some stuff I've heard.

Mushrooms: Koh Chang means elephant island in Thai. Most of the mushrooms in Thailand are grown from elephant dung so there is def' a plethora on this island (whereas in Koh Phi Phi it is impossible to find) and backpackers love to do try out the magical experience. Being discreet is obvious because it's illegal, duh! But actually, it's not as prevalent as it is on Koh Phangan. One reliable place to buy from is Siam Huts. They sell "magic shakes" for 500 Baht, but rather than having them mix it into a shake, I've heard it's better to get them raw in a bag to eat with food.

How do you know they're real? Mushrooms in Thailand have a golden eye and a dark outer area. I've known people who have bought them and have had no effect once it was in a shake (in Koh Lanta). I imagine that is because they weren't real and there is no way of telling once they are grounded up. One tip for taking them is to eat it food.

Alcohol: Cheapest way to drink is by buying in the super market. Since you probably won't have a fridge in your hut it's recommended to buy bottles of Sam Song (Thai Whiskey) and mix that through out the night. The stores in lonely Beach are open late (midnight) so you can buy bottles of cold beer as your night progresses

Happy Shakes: Marijuana is very easy to get on Koh Chang and is cheap. You can get it mixed in a shake too.

5. Practical

Internet: There are internet cafes but they are sort of expensive. If you have a laptop you can get free wifi from Reggae bar.

Laundry: You can get laundry done for you for very cheap, but I've had several pieces of clothing destroyed in the process. Maybe just do your panties and boxers but nothing nicer.

6. Other things to do

Waterfall Road Trip to Long Beach: Rent a motorbike and go exploring on the other side of the island. It takes a couple hours and is a great day trip to arrive at the other Treehouse on the real remote part of the island on LONG BEACH. Along the way there are several waterfalls, monkeys, untouched fisherman's village and more. It's stunning. The waterfalls are nice to see and swim in but they cost some money. At the end of the long and adventurous journey and sketchy roads you end up on Long Beach, where there are only three huts to accomodate people. The water is beautiful. Come here for an escape from drunken crowds and some zen moments, not for insane partying. It's seriously quiet and nice for couples.

Visit the Cambodian School: Donate some clothes, supplies, see the children and if you're there for a while maybe volunteer some of your time teaching english. This is a school set up for migrant Cambodian children who cannot afford to or whose parents are scared to put them in the Thai School System. A lot of them are not legally in the country so they fear registering their kids in school. This school gives them a chance at an education. I volunteered there Summer 2009.

Stop by Evolution Tour and talk to Brian, the Dutch manager. Or give them a call. You have to go through a small path in the jungle to get to it. 30/1/7 Moo 4, Baan Klong Prao, Trat Province 23170, Thailand Phone: +66 39 557 078 - Mobile: +66 9 603 9642

Fish Market at Bang Bao: Rent a motorbike and go to Bang Bao. There's a market over the water and where all the fishing boats are lined up. It's nothing crazy special but it's pretty to sit out on the peer when the sun is setting or shop around for ridiculous hats.

Kayak to Deserted Island for Romantic Picnic: The old amour and I decided to dish a bit of money out on a kayak and head out to one of the little rocky islands not far out to picnic. With our beers in our bag and pad thai ready to go, we set off into the setting sun. It was an amazing adventure for our anniversary, as we jumped off the Kayak and swam in the bath warm water. The only bummer was when on the way back Zeus decided to send out a lightening storm (fine, maybe just heat lightening, but still). It was terrifying to go back to the mainland in a boat! Still, def recommend it for romance + adventure!

This is probably awkward. This relationship doesn't exist anymore. #ohwell #travelproblems

Missing anything? Something doesn't exist anymore? Let the world know and share your wisdom for cheap accommodation and badass travel tips in Koh Chang!

See the rest of the photos here from Koh Chang and please like the Facebook page

Travelling in Thailand? Read Also

How Not to Be an Ignorant Backpacker

The Party that Doesn't End- Full Moon Party (VIDEO)

6 Tips to Not Getting Ripped off in Bangkok

Rad Shopping Guide to Bangkok

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Indie Guide Toronto: Lomography Adventures

February 8, 2012, 8:49 pm

≫ Next: 10 Most Romantic and Rotten Hook-Up Spots in the World

≪ Previous: Indie Guide to Thailand: Koh Chang Lonely Beach

Or, What in the Seven Seas is Lomography?

Let's not act too cool and pretend that we all know what Lomography is (or do you?). As my lovely colleagues from Trend Hunter Mag and I cruised into this private party in the utmost vibrant space of the Lomography Toronto store, I'm pretty sure that no one had a clue either, except it had something to do cameras. Duh Captain Obvious. Come hither! Let's embark on a great quest for knowledge.

Well, from what I could spy with my big ol' eyes, the walls were marvellously dressed in kaleidoscopic colours, reminiscent of the exotic jungles of Papua New Guinea. Upon closer inspection it was actually a giant collage of crazy arse printed photographs. One velociraptor pivot of the head left revealed retro cameras on display, the assumed culprits of this photo wonderland, and another sharp head pivot showcased some of the coolest kids around T Dizzle sitting on the couches eating cheese and drinking free booze (courtesy of Lomography Toronto).

Beyond my internalized dino/pirate fantasies, I felt like I was riding the waves of a hipster's wet dream. Was I excited too? Yes. The store was hotter than Lana Del Rey and wreaked of coolness beyond Lisbeth Salander (ha, impossible). Music was jamming, cute stylish Japanese girls were cuting up the place. But I still just wanted to wrap my brain tissue around a simple question: How was Lomo different from the pictures I take on my shitty pink Canon cam?

After several helpings of free lomo wine (the sweetest of wines for us intern adventurers), I finally turned to this Jesus posed fellow (above) and asked for him to impart his vast knowledge. He told me his name was Shane and he was a manager. That was a good start. My understanding was at 100%. Him and his fellow friend explained that Lomography was a lifestyle. I nod smartly, but I don't get it.

Shane explains that it is mostly printed photographs from an analog cam and not digital. Everything captured in the moment takes on arse loads more significance because you can't delete and modify everything as we narcissistically obsess over with our digi cams in this day and age. A surge of accomplishment and appreciation rise up in me like the tide on a full moon. I get it! This is a lifestyle that embraces spontaneity, wildness, and cafe-free living. "Don't Think, Just Shoot" is the motto and now I feel like I've found gold. However, to ever truly live this fringe lifestyle that this blog/moi totz embraces, there are the (deep breath)..

10 Golden Rules to Lomography:

1. Take your camera everywhere.

2. Use your camera anytime- day or night (thanks Kid Cudi).

3. Lomo is not an interference in your life, but part of it.

4. Try the shot from the hip.

5. Approach the objects of your Lomographic desire as close as possible.

6. Don't think.

7. Be fast.

8. You don't have to know beforehand what you captured on film.

9. Afterwards either.

10. SCREW THE RULES.

Lomography Toronto

536 Queen Street West Toronto, ON M5V 2B5
(647) 352-6702

Whoah, guys whoah.

Don't sail off into internet distance yet. I'm having an existential crisis. If I didn't have a digital cam, would I be a veritable lomographer too? Aren't all bloggers lomographers in their own way? Or does confused dog face need to make an appearance cuz I actually didn't get it?

Picture source: Hyperbole and a Half

If you are part of the "getting it" crew or whatever, please feel free to share your lomog-isdom ! Also, learn more about the ins and outs of the coolest spots in every city you rock by following on Facebook and Twitter! Arrrr!

Music

Lastly, a little gift that I have not left in a while. If you want to actually get what it was like to chill in one of the coolest stores in town, listen to this noir sounding Brit Indie Group for mad vibin'. Thanks and till our next adventure!

Claire - Baxter Dury. mp3

Photo credits: Felicia Moursalien/John Ibbitson. Do not use without proper credit and citation!

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10 Most Romantic and Rotten Hook-Up Spots in the World

February 14, 2012, 6:31 am

≫ Next: Moving to Indonesia

≪ Previous: Indie Guide Toronto: Lomography Adventures

Three years in a Long Distance Relationship means I've traveled quite a bit in order to get a piece of ace. If you've taken my advice in Three Ways to Survive an LDR, you've made international booty calls the most exciting aspects of your lives by exotic dating. Being that it's Valentine's day and all I've decided to list the most romantic places I've felt the wings of love flutter in my chest, but also the black swan twin, the LEAST romantic spots to have some tongue slug wars in your mouth. Do I not sound that romantic? That's because as I speak I'm wearing a bra on my head. Meet prude Pope Jean Bra III .

This bra is a present, not from a hot Ryan Gosling dream lover, not even a nerdy dork face with a missing tooth. Nope, my one and only Valentine's Day present is from my mom. So if I seem a little unenthused this Valentine's please refer back to this picture and cut me some slack. Word?

I've been lucky enough to have some of the most badass romantic Valentine's days from various relations, but since this is a travel blog, I'm only focusing on my old LDR that necessitated a buttload of traveling. Okay, carrying on.

Let's start with the bad spots for all us metaphorical Bra-heads this Valentine's Day.

4 Least Romantic Spots

1. Nevada Desert in the Summer

This may look like the makings of a hipsterotica film but in reality I felt like my skin was slowly being ripped inwards and trying to flip itself inside out, one prickly pore at a time. Frack, it was damn hot. Not to take you on a train to Dramz Central or anything, but for the first time in my life I felt like I would have fainted from the heat (and this was after living in Thailand too!). Basically, if you want to get it on, avoid places where the idea of body heat makes you more uncomfortable than a Serg Gainsbourg and Whitney Houston interview.

2. Highway on a Motorbike without Helmets, Guangzhou China.

Is this tantamount to the thrill and terror of the thuglife? I felt at any moment I was going to be killed, racing along the highway at breakneck speeds with no helmet and no chance to speak over the roar of the motor. Well, perhaps some romance can be derived out of our inner city adventure, a sort of Chinese Jack and Rose moment. "If you ever let go of me, I will poo myself." My response to amour. "Okay calm down, I'll never let go."

3. The Thai-Myanmar Border

While this may be one of the coolest experiences I've ever had in Thailand, it is also probably one of the least romantic too. We had just met the Thai Military stationed to fortify the dangerous and heavily populated border crossing. Somehow we made buds with them and they offered us a tent to stay on the mountain with them overlooking the two countries. Sounds epic right. It was a seriously "authentic" experience to get wasted with military on local booze, exchange stories in our sign languages because no one spoke each others language but we were so passionate we kept trying and eat some food from the local shop. However, sleeping in a tent on lumpy ground with the Thai soldiers all around..probably not the most conducive to loverness. BUT WHATEVER IT WAS AWESOME. Can't wait to blog more about my northern Thailand adventures!

4. Cairo, Egypt

Any magic you attempt to cultivate is quickly squashed by people trying to rip you off at every corner. Authenticity, honesty and local charm were bazooka-ed out the window. For the first time in my life I disliked a place. Even (more like especially) while viewing the awesomest wonder of the world with my amour at the time we feared that they were going to take his horse off and pressure him for more money. Oh lovers of the world, do not do Cairo for a romantic getaway. Find more stress free hoods!

Come kids, now let's grate some cheese!

6 Most Romantic Spots

1. Ocean Highway, California.

"Camping along the Ocean Highway driving through Cali (below). After driving for hours and being rejected from every hotel in the mountains (it was Labour Day so all them Americans decided to flock to the hills and use up all the hotels!) we decide give up hope on civilization. We wanted to drive all night, but the truth was that if we didn't find somewhere to stay it was possible that I or Paul would fall asleep while driving and lead us and our 3 bros to our watery grave on the ocean highway. So we whip out our sleeping bags and sleep on a cliff. Call it dangerous but it was one of the best and adventurous nights of my life (If you're a Canadian who goes camping, you'll understand). If the world was my bedroom then imagine one wall was tall looming mountains, and the other was the vast expanse of the Pacific. Right beside my bed was not a nightstand but 700 m drop into jagged rocks and ocean . My ceiling was inundated with glow-in-the-dark like sticker stars except my Orion's Belt was the real one. And right beside me (or under me) was the person I loved most in the world". (Read more in How to Love Life: Take a Road Trip with Best Friends)

2. Picnicking on the Tundra, Greenland

We were not alone but that was okay because with us we had a chef who prepared fresh bison steaks, which we drank with delicious wine. Afterwards, we snuck off to explore the ice sheets in the background, rolled around in the moss a bit (not like that! But from jumping off rocks), and found a cool waterfall! Nothing gets my heart pumping faster than watching Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine than having a sneaky, wonderful adventure!

3. Sparkling Secret Beach, Hong Kong

Darkness had started to descend and we had no plausible way out of the deserted, secret beach area without venturing into the jungle without a light. What do we do? Rip off our clothes and run into the water, obvi. In the end we had to stay in some random Chinese people's homes who thankfully let us in. It was only in the middle of the night did the most amazing thing happen to us. I snuck out with my blanket after the amour started to doze off and lay on the beach alone under the stars. I was visiting him on his year abroad and my heart was heavier than my butt after dim sum at the thought of leaving him again so soon. When the amour saw me gone from bed, he came to join me on the beautiful empty beach and laid with me under my blanket. All of a sudden the water started to sparkle, like Edward Cullen's face in the sun! I thought there must be a light somewhere but there wasn't. It was a sort of algae in the water and they sparkled and dazzled for us as we held each other tightly. Lying there together in that moment in a foreign world, with beauty enveloping our senses made all the sadness seem so far away. It was perfection. I wish more than anything that lovers everywhere can experience this beach and its sparkling algae.

4. Dangerous rock in the ocean, Costa Brava Spain

Grabbed our picnic blanket, some crazy Spanish food, some wine and we said "*uck it, we're not eating in a restaurant." Finding the furthest and most isolated spot to have our picnic was synonomous with love and adventure. Everything was new and exciting, from our feelings, to the food, to the land. We were in a quaint little coastal town that I also need to blog about because it was an absolute hidden gem for avoiding tourists and finding beauty. Drunk off our blossoming love and probably a healthy helping of wine, we started singing at the top of our lungs and went skinny dipping in the clear blue albeit cold water! Life couldn't have been better than that moment. Finding beautiful and adventure picnic spots were critical!

5. End of the World, Vladivostok Siberia Russia

After more than a week of riding the Trans-Siberian Railway from Moscow, we had finally arrived to the end of Asia -- Vladivostok. Sitting at the top of the world in that moment was beautiful. The world was just stretched before us for infinity. We had crossed a continent, and something in my heart ached from the beauty of it all, and the person I had done it with. These moments made the Long Distance Relationship seem less horrible...

6. Any Bridge, Paris France

If there's one thing you need to do while in France it's kiss a French boy/girl on a bridge. Whether it be during the day when the Seine winks playfully at you in the sunlight or at night when the Eiffel Tower can be seen sparkling, grab someone and kiss them. Even while living there, the romance of it never, ever escaped me. But be careful! You will feel like you are falling in love! I know people think the romance of Paris is overhyped a bit, but I kid you not, I felt physical heart pains from how wonderful it can be, (read more about How I Hated Paris..at First) but it took some time.

There should be no compromise in this. No one, not even Hannibal Lecter could remain unmoved by the romanticism of this city. I know I'm being a cliche so I'll give you the most romantic bridge in Paris: Pont de la Tournelle (at sunset). See the white and greys of Notre Dame fade to pinks and purples as the sun sinks into the Seine. Please, if you are in Paris today, please do that for me. Kiss like no one is watching!

I have to admit something. I took off my Bra Hat. As I wrote about these amazing memories from my past, I evolved into a new species of human with a larger heart that had wings poking out the side! I fell in love with Valentine's day again. I know some of these stories are sort of crazy, but hopefully it inspires you to make the most of your special day, no matter where you are in the world! One thing I learned from the Long Distance Relationship is that you have to create the opportunities for your love. And while you may not be booking a flight to Greenland, do something special, have fun, laugh and love today.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! And thank you, World, for snapping me out of my grump-grinch Vday blues. ps. Get laid!!!

pps. Sorry for bad grammar and mistakes! Did this in a rush with work in 4 hours!

If you're lucky enough to be in love, share with us the most romantic spots in the world you've been /experiences you've ever had!

Moving to Indonesia

March 11, 2012, 4:07 pm

≫ Next: Indie Guide Indonesia: Hostels in Kuta Bali

≪ Previous: 10 Most Romantic and Rotten Hook-Up Spots in the World

On the Road Again..to Adulthood

You know something is fundamentally wrong with a person when you walk into their room and are affronted by the eagerness of their stationary suitcases, like a bunch of sparkly-eyed children anxious to go to the zoo based on empty 'maybe later' parental promises. Their suitcases squat impatient and restless in the corner, untouched after six months of piling dust yet somehow, always ready to go. The Germans have a word for this sickness (they always have a word), it's called fernweh. It essentially means the opposite of home sickness -- a yearning to go far away. I got back from Paris eight months ago, yet I refused to put the suitcases in storage, decorate my room, effectively never truly settle in Toronto. I knew with a certainty merited only by raw ambition, that I would leave soon. So goddamn what if didn't know when and I didn't know why. Well guess what, World? It's finally happened! I have a sweet job offer.

If you know me at all, you know I'm not a backpacker. Though (self) diagnosed with fernweh, I refused to drain ressources on infinity travelling expeditions, the ones where people quit life without a plan, wander aimlessly through India for spirituality, blah blah barf. Maybe it's the immigrant/ first gen problems haunting me, but it's a privileged path that I've never been interested in taking (mostly because I'm poor and it's stupid to yearn for what one can't obtain, but also seems rather dull). Instead, I studied international relations in university to give myself the travel fishing rod. Frack drifting like a drunk from one bar island to the next forever, I want to roll up my sleeves and get down and hella dirty with the places I go.

Female backpackers at their worst

Which brings me to the excitement of the job. I've got offered the position of Content Marketing Manager for a fashion start-up in Jakarta, Indonesia. Yes, I was there before but it was as an intern for the UN. Remember rat alley and my dog life? This time I'm on salary, baby! I'm stoked to rock Jakarta like I never could have before with a 300 USD/month stipend, also for the chance to really get to know the rest of the country. But seriously, this time it's not about the travel. The job seems awesome: blogging, working with bloggers, developing social media strategies, attending baller fashion events to develop content etc. My beating heart and the butterflies in my stomach are sumo wrestling in my body for my attention. When I think about it, I feel like bustin' out dropkicks on my bed from excitement (and sheer coolness of dropkicks, obvi).

But here's the thing. I LEAVE SO SOON, say one week perhaps? There's so much to do before I take off (eh). My close friend, James, can't fathom how I can uproot myself so quickly. Neither can I frankly, I'm stressing out. Also, I'm looking for someone to share a badass apartment with in Jakarta. Looking for roommates and apts from abroad are hella hard tasks. If you are moving to Jakarta in the next month, let me know! Or pass this along to friends. I'm looking in Kuningan, Gatot Subroto area.

I'm stoked to come back to Jakarta especially for a job I know will be awesome. Look forward to seeing all the old posse that remained but I have a wretched sadness that feels like indigestion from leaving everyone I love in Toronto. Wah face. Next post: Getting Ready to Leave.

Are you picking up and leaving? Do you prefer backpacking or expat living? Tips for making it less painful? Share your brain with us!

Also follow on Facebook and Twitter for important everything to travelling as a young badass and lovin' life updates.

See Also:
Travelling Junkie Graduate Settles Down in Jakarta

Indie Guides to Indonesia

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Indie Guide Indonesia: Hostels in Kuta Bali

March 28, 2012, 7:30 am

≫ Next: Indie Guide Indonesia: 3 Things to do in Bali

≪ Previous: Moving to Indonesia

Best Hostels in Kuta Bali for Price and Party Times

There are few times when travelling that you meet a group of people who inspire you night after night to abuse your body to its physical limit, wake up the next day (or not sleep at all) with a smile on your face and a Bintang in your hand and all without hard feelings of hangover or sleeplessness, because you somehow cannot get enough of each other's company. In one giant run on sentence, that's what it was like staying in Kayun Hostel.

It started with the crazy Germans. There was not a moment in the main area, whether it be 11 am or 7 pm that the centre table was not already packed with beer bottles, resembling the carnival ring toss game. More than their ridiculous alcoholism (which is common with backpackers), they were funny, silly and despite having most nights starting with cheesy dance moves (erm, Alex) or ending in slurred speech, they were smart. This last factor is what paid the main contribution to the body abuse in Bali, as I'll explain.

Next major party puzzle piece was an American fellow named Joe aka Captain America. A film maker with a loud voice and louder spirit, our friendship exploded upon personality impact. Boom. Goodbye sanity. Hello debauchery, debates, sexism, cigarettes and nights going till 8 am. Joe, the German named Fiedler (which sounds like Hitler when said in German), and I were bastions of unintended booming voices and somehow fuelled each other every night. These guys, along with the baby of the group, Nicoloose, were up for anything. Hell do I value that in people.

Whether it be partying in Kuta at the sweaty bathhouse of sausage that is Sky Lounge, hopping in a taxi to swim along the ocean in Potato Head or throwing back shots of nasty local alcochol in our hostel pool after everyone had gone to bed, they did it all and I love them for it! Most people sleep after a night out, sheer fatique providing the outside force to stop the partying inertia, yet we would.not.stop. Why? Drinking can only take you so far, but I guess it was the LoLocausts and compelling conversations that really explains the infinite fun of it all. Chemistry baby, we had it.

Last but not least it was the colourful personalities and beautiful faces of everyone there that made Kayun Hostel feel like we had all been friends forever. There was the off-the-wall Canadian, Ross, who had a ladyboy drop her pants publicly and desperately try to prove she was a female by fondling her lady goods (when you meet him, this wouldn't surprise you). There was Steve and Helen, the nicest and cutest couple ever, Nikki and Andrew funny cats from Toronto, Daisy and Drew the adorable and gorgeous gap year travelling Brits, Emma the adventurous Kiwi who, thanks to her we saw monkeys and beaches and more, handsome Matt whose knowledge of hunting, meat and everything Western Canada blew my mind on one magical day and James and Simon the nicest Australians eva. People came and left, but when we were all together it was like we were addicted to chillin'. We went out together, stayed in drinking together playing raunchy games of Never Have I Ever and even kicked it back watching movies tout ensemble.

I can't say I've ever had such strong bonding with this large a group of people while travelling, especially because of a Kuta Bali hostel. Normally you get wasted, have a laugh or two then go your separate ways. However, here when the first chunk of people had to peace out it felt like the end of an era! It had been only 5 days of madness. Throw some whoah sauce on that awesome!!!

Party in our rooms on the night of silence

Big question is, will we ever see each other again? Was this just a vacation romance? I'm not sure. Have you ever made such deep bonds while travelling and managed to reunite? Where did you go? Was it the same?

I'd like to propose a reunion in Ocktoberfest! Yea mann! That's the most reasonable place I can think of since Europe is easy to get to between Asia and North America and the perfect venue to continue the Bali madness. Sigh, maybe I'm just an idealistic fool! I hope not, and I'm willing to do everything to organize it.

Anyways, enough blah blahing here's my mini guide of where to stay in Kuta Bali. Please share with your friends! And if you have suggestions of cheap and good hostels in Kuta, do not hesitate to pass along to us, your world amigos!

Where to Stay in Kuta

Kayun Hostel

Not the cheapest place, but it is damn clean, the service is good, the beds are so comfortable, the wifi is decent and as I just took a billion hours to explain, it's an amazing place to meet people. When I was a poor intern, I couldn't afford to stay somewhere like this, but with a slightly higher budget you get a crazy amount of comfort. If you are a backpacker looking to party not in poverty styles, this place is great for you. It's 10 minute walk from Sky Garden, away from Poppies Lane II, which can be good or bad. The rooms are air conditioned. The dorms are solid and lots of fun.

Dorms (single bed): 190k IDR/night
Simple rooms double bed: 460k IDR/night
Fancy rooms: 500k IDR/night

Beneyasa Beach Inn:

Double bed with A/C = 250k IDR/night,

No A/C= 150 K/night

Directions: If you are facing the beach and on Poppies Lane turn right on Bene Sari and it should be on your left hand side. It's a 5 minute walk from the beach.

Poppies Lane II Legian Street (0361) 754180- 755469

Bounty Hotel

This place is expensive but go there if you're looking for Spring Break ambiance. Beefed up dudes and ladies are perennially with a beer as early as noon in the pool, music never stops and there is a ping pong table! It might as well be called Hotel Australia though, no locals stay there. Also, don't try to dive off the statues into the pool. They are sacred.

Poppies Lane II, up the road towards the beach from Dua Dara Inn.

Indie Guide Indonesia: 3 Things to do in Bali

March 29, 2012, 3:08 am

≫ Next: Jakarta: Where to Buy Tahini, Quinoa and More Vegan Goods

≪ Previous: Indie Guide Indonesia: Hostels in Kuta Bali

Besides Getting Wasted in Kuta, Here's Some Tourist Stuff to Do

1. Have an epic Mortal Combat battle at the Monkey Temple, Ubud

FINISH HIM!

Yo, these monkeys were whack. They were trying to chow down on Drew's hat and when he kicked it off the monkey bared its teeth and started clapping at him. Bu'n that. I did not touch them.

Like, Hindu design and architecture in Bali is um totally awesome, right?

But seriously. Couldn't get over the green moss on the temple walls. It sucked in the noise and gave the place some mad chill vibes.

She's actually in pain

I hate monkeys after being attacked by them, robbed, screeched at etc. They're not scared of me, so my fav' part of monkey jungle was definitely this wicked beautiful temple that we totally abused for epic ninja moves and lame yoga.

2. Drink coffee made from animal shit at Luwak Coffee Farm

This apparently is some of the most expensive coffee in the world. The luwak, a small cat looking thing that eats some red berries, poos it out, and then people separate the poo from the seeds. Inside the seed is where you get the coffee bean, all fermented and savoury. Or so the story goes. Or so my stomach lurches.

The finished product! Not personally a huge coffee fan, but it was cool to see how it was made. In my humble opinion I've had mud that tastes better than this, but what do I know.

However, they grow all their own cocoa plants and other stuff to make chocolate coffee and the like. Definitely bought some of that, it was so good!! 50k IDR for a bag.

Wedang Sari
Ubud
+62 81 2395 5152
Talk to Made Setiawan, he's the coolest!

3. Try to be cooler than the surfers at Uluwatu

We rented motorbikes and it was about an hour ride out of Kuta Bali. TOTALLY WORTH IT. Beautiful water, surfers bobbing in the waves, high cliffs. *Sigh, after suffocating in Kuta traffic and polluted beach, Uluwatu was a necessary reprieve.

Next time, I'm jumping off some of these cliffs, I swear.

Useful Information:

We hired a driver to take us to the Monkey Jungle and Coffee place. It cost 400k IDR for the day and he was awesome. I would skip the volcano, because the food is expensive (100k IDR for buffet of meh choices). The view is beautiful, but yea not that great. The rest was awesome.

I definitely recommend the driver we used though. His name is Made Dompol and he speaks wicked English, knows everything and is young and funny. Like hanging out with a bud. Here's his contact info if you're in Bali and want some culture and adventure outside of Paddy's !

Made Dompol
+62 8 133 772 3732

More on Kuta Bali

3 Hostels to Stay at in Kuta

How to Pay Local Prices: Surfing, Motorbikes and More

New Year's Eve in Bali: Potato Head

How I Learned to Stop Hating and Love the Aussies VIDEO

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Jakarta: Where to Buy Tahini, Quinoa and More Vegan Goods

April 7, 2012, 4:05 am

≫ Next: 5 German Stereotypes Confirmed

≪ Previous: Indie Guide Indonesia: 3 Things to do in Bali

Indie Guide to Jakarta: Finding the Vegan Necessities

After hectically buzzing around Jakarta like a fly drunk on the smell of dog shit looking for my clutch vegan items (quinoa, tahini) , I have landed on the gold. I warn you though, being a vegan or health freak in this city does not come at a reasonable price, especially if you insist on doing it Western stylez. Nonetheless, if you are as desperate and stubborn as a crack junkie pre-reform resolutions, then hopefully this mini guide will help you satiate your needs as well as point out places where not to waste your time looking.

Finding Quinoa

Kem chicks Pacific Place: This is in the basement of one of the most luxurious malls in Jakarta. As a poor intern, last year's Felicia would have barfed up chunks of dread at the thought of trying to buy something here. With my new job, I could swallow the blow.

Careful, most people don't who work in the malls don't even know what quinoa is. Don't trust them if they say they don't have it. THEY DO. I was almost sent away, but luckily I persevered and came out like a goddamn vegan boss queen.

Cost: Rp. 170,000 for 737 g (like $20, dudes!)

Finding Hummus/Tahini and Pita

Kem chicks Pacific Place:They have two types of tahini here, one from Bali and another Middle Eastern one. I tried out the Middle Eastern variety when making hummus for a Seder I attended last night and it was super good. The weird thing was that I couldn't find pre-made hummus there. Oh well, I make it best, thanks to my girl Kathryn in Toronto. They had pita, but it is small and made with white flour, rather than whole wheat. Still delicious and sitting at the bottom of my tummy in pure happiness.

Sham Gardens Tahini (Mid East one) 475 g: Rp 76,000

Bali Asli Tahini 330 g: Rp. 45,000

Pita, 5 small: Rp. 9,000

Pasar Festival (Taman Rasuna ):There is an arab store there that is said to have hummus, tahini and fresh pita made everyday. It is probably buttloads cheaper, so I'm defo going there next time. Have you been? Can you confirm?!

Where NOT to Waste your Time

Arab Market in Tanah Abang: They have dry chick peas, lots of dates, and shisha tobacco and coals, but somehow no hummus, tahini or pita. I did buy a load of cumin there for pretty cheap and olive oil too. Check out the Indie Guide to Shopping in Jakarta for more deets.

Also:
Grand Indonesia
Plaza Indonesia
Hypermart

Finding Dairy-Free Cheese and Egg Substitute..HELP!

I have searched far and wide and these are the two things I have NO IDEA where to get them. The worst part is that most grocery store workers haven't the faintest idea of what I'm talking about. "Fake cheese?" they ask and hand me processed cheese slices (not unreasonable). If you know of where I can find these two vegan essentials in Jakarta, please share!

Conclusion

As an expat you need to adapt to be happiest where you are, duh, but I feel as I'm getting older that's getting harder. I love Indo food like sambal tempe and tahu (tofu) over rice, the delicious variety of vegetables and more, but there are some things about Toronto that I fell in love with that I'm not willing to give up. Vegan baked goods is one of them (brownies!!!) and shitty fake cheese is another. In order to minimize home sickness I'm going to keep looking, while simultaneously experimenting with the goods I find here to spice up my new found vegan life. For example, I bought a couple of bottles of Indonesian mystery slime that I'm going to try when I cook up some vegetables. It smells good, whatever it is and I'm excited for the surprise! If you're vegan here and having a hard time, know that you can find a lot of what you want but most importantly to stay happiest open up and try it all! Good luck and happy hunting, and always, World, share your wisdom with us!

More on Jakarta, Bali and Indonesia

Not to Sound like a Girl..but, is that hummus?

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5 German Stereotypes Confirmed

May 21, 2012, 1:41 pm

≫ Next: Indie Guide to Berlin Nightlife

≪ Previous: Jakarta: Where to Buy Tahini, Quinoa and More Vegan Goods

Handsome, Wimpy, Hardworking and Not Funny? German Stereotypes Broken Down

The recent blitzkrieg of German people in my life has prompted this photo throwback to my days living in Europe. It's weird though, despite inhabiting neighbouring France and dating a Blonde German Blooded Yeti for three years, I had very little interaction with the Deutsch people or their country, until I moved to.. Indonesia?

In Bali, I partied my ace off with some wildling Germans and had one of the most fun trips of my life. In Jakarta my work was invaded by people who sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger on crack (yea yea, Austrian, German whatever). So in the last two months I've come to quite enjoy their company. However, being in such close quarters with them, I couldn't help but notice several stereotypes I had heard about actually pop up continuously. And while anecdotal evidence undoubtedly supporting confirmatory bias does in no way equate to truth, it does offer enough laugh material to make fun of your boss beyond merely their ridiculous accents. I've been compelled to share. "Do it now, YAH?"

1) They are disciplined work freaks of nature. TRUE.

In Paris, we would order a bottle of wine, sit for an hour and a half and chill out of work lunch break. Life was there to enjoy it. Work hard, play hard sort of thing. Working for this German company, there were no long lunch breaks, people planned more than they banged and they got things done FAST.

They even commence their efficiency indoctrination young. Rather than the jovial, Ring around the Rosie and cutsie disease songs we learn in the west, the German kinder are taught songs of a different nature :

"Morgen morgen nur nicht heute sagen alle faule leute."

Translating to "Tomorrow, tomorrow, not today is what all the lazy people say."

At the Museum of Modern Art in Berlin.

2) The Men Are "Hunky Handsome, Wimpy, Weak."

TRUE

I couldn't believe that a land full of strapping, beastly tall men could yield such itty bitty passive dating behaviour. Yet after my extensive research, mainly a plethora of stories from female comrades and confirmed by this article in the Spiegel I've come to accept the verity in this German stereotype.

Apparently, in the dating world, there is a lack of 'go getter' spirit that men in the rest of the Western world display. On one hand, this rocks the kasbah. The men keep their composure and don't come off as famished dogs scrabbling after a piece of wiener schnitzel while in your company. On the other hand, seriously just grow a pair. If it's clear a girl likes you, don't pull a Jon Snow, go for it! Apparently women in Germany make the first move? I dunno, I've written about it here in the Hooking Up Guide to the World. Personally, I've seen the aggressive and passive. What do you think?

Upon mild scrutiny of other German peculiarities, it's not even that surprising. Beyond Angela Merkel being the badass babe leader of their country, did you know that affluent German men are expected to take a piss SITTING DOWN? Whoah sauce. It appears that while the men are wimpy and emasculate they are reacting to strong ass female behaviour. Even Simone de Beauvoir in the Second Sex wrote about how peeing standing up and freely for a man is one of his most empowering qualities. Pop a squat. Lose your balls.

While ex amour's blood was German, his spirit was French..no wimpy dude here.

3) They are the Least Funny People in ze World

True and False

South Park fuelled what so many people thought already. The kids had an award ceremony and voted Germans as the least funny people, over the Japanese and even some Inuit tribe. The country of Germany in response blew their lid at their ranking and created a robot, called FunnyBot to calculate the pure humour. In the end the robot thought the funniest joke of all would be to exterminate the human race. Awkward..

Parody aside, the stereotype is not completely true if only because it's not specific to this one country. Europeans in general are not that funny. Their humour, like the French and Italians, are more of a cynical nature -- snickering at other people's chagrin rather than generating their own hilarious content (like us North Americans and even the Brits)! On the other hand, I suppose relative to their continent mates they are a bit stiff, lacking the easy going flow that anglophones or Latin bloods have. Whatever, I've shared many a laugh with these folks.. even if it just about the efficiency of work flows in Asia. What a knee-slapper!

4) They're Colder than Canadian Winter

TRUE

Having the ex amour's family come from some cold tiny island of Forh, they definitely did not seem to be as loving, warm and touchy as their Swedish counterparts. As a bubbly, talkative and curious Canadian I had a very hard time winning over his massive 6'6'' father who looked like he could eat me for a midnight snack.

Their affection is a treasured secret, displayed privately and in small quantities. This is completely in contrast to the loud, overflowing personality of Latins, Caribbean people and to some extent North Americans, where you are lavished in enough warmth to out live the sun.

Even Germans believe it about themselves! Allow me to share a joke about the Northerners/Friesians told to me by an old German boss I had.

A guy walks into a bar in Forh. He is cold and tired. The only thing he utters to the Friesian drinkers around him was 'tach' (the equivalent of a nod).

They all looked at each other incredulously and asked, "Who the hell's the foreigner? He's too bloody talkative!"

Ho ho ho!

Holocaust Memorial. The art in Berlin is some of my favourite in the world.

5) Amazing Music Comes from Germany

TRUE

If you've been feeling sore from all the German bashing know this: the music and art from Germany is some indeed some of the best. If you don't believe in heaven you will after you hear this (they're German right?).

Remember!

Don't pull a German and take this too seriously. Some people experience serious internet rage. If you disagree or (more hilariously) have something to add to the list, enlighten the world/us! Danke! Next coming up is a mini guide to Berlin Nightlife!

Diggin' the gross generalizations and stereotypes? You'll also like..

Guide to Hooking Up Around the World

Stupid Shit French People Say

London Vs. Paris Vs. America

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Indie Guide to Berlin Nightlife

May 25, 2012, 1:44 am

≫ Next: Indie Guide Jakarta Arts: Salihara Theater

≪ Previous: 5 German Stereotypes Confirmed

Berlinsanity: 3 Badass Clubs to Check Out or How my French University Rocked the Lederhosen off Germany

To be honest, I wouldn't want to visit Berlin at all. This is one of the few cities along with Melbourne, London and Chicago that I could see myself living in and verdammt loving it. From my brief student weekend there with SciencesPo, my Frenchie university, I fell in love with the affordable, edgy and badass debauchery that pervaded its nightlife. I know in my last post about German stereotypes I mocked the people to no end, but despite their quirks, Berlin seems exceptionally ow-some.

Seriously, it holds something irresistible that I haven't seen elsewhere. If Paris' nightlife is a classy lady holding many secrets, Berlin is more your carefree hot art house girl, the kind of girl this blog would be besties with (high-pitched girl squeal eeeh!*). London vibes similarly, but because everything is so frackin' expensive it's rather stressful to truly let loose there. Berlin and Jakarta would essentially hate each other-- Jakarta nightlife being that nouveau riche girl with fancy designer bags that her daddy bought her and no clue how to ride a subway. Ugh. While we're playing this city-as-chicks game, Toronto is the younger teen sister trying to figure out who she is. She has so much going on, it's hard to define her yet.

Cool apartment turned club in East Berlin. Thanks to Paris music man, Hugo for showing us

If you are sensing awkward girl-crushing-on-non-human vibes then you're correct. It's mainly because when in Berlin I was blown away by some of the best museums I have ever seen. I'm not a museum junkie or anything, but the Modern Art Museum and the Holocaust Museums blitzkrieged my brain with whoah bombs. They were interactive and bled of history that touched my herz. For partying we headed out to some apartment club thing with graffiti on the walls in East Berlin to see Boys Noize and French electro label Institubes. From only a mere few days there, Berlin showed me parts of herself that even after wining and dining this Jakarta biatch, I am yet to find here.

Anyways, here's a mini Indie Guide to Berlin Nightlife. These are the clubs I'm going to check out when I go back, recommended by the ex amour and other trusted friends. If you've been, tell me what you think! And please, help with cool recommendations!

Panorama/ Berghain: While this place may look like a holocaust memorial site, it really is the entrance to one of the best nightclubs in Berlin thanks to amazing resident DJ's, techno and house music and parties that don't end till Saturday afternoon. If you are too naive (don't blame you) to know what long ass parties like that means then it may not be your scene, mainly because of this . Also, apparently they turn away lots of people at the door. Big ups to exclusivity factor? *Fart noise.

Watergate:Located in the Kreuzbeurg neighbourhood, this is meant to have insane house and techno music, a panoramic view of the city and LED lights to twinkle up your mind. Don't know much more than that but if recommended by people I love to party with then I seriously can't wait to ch-check it out.

Kater Holzig

And..
Reason 1 Million to Study in France

This is our weekend trip to Berlin, on our way to the club racing to make the metro.

More Berlin music..

Jeez, I didn't think my hyperactive soul could ever be satiated by minimal music but I think the Berlin scene is wiggling its way into my heart and happily hanging out there. Thanks Sascha for sending me the recommendation!

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